Archive for June, 2006

Audio Edition - June 30th 2006

On this Friday installment of The Audio Edition, John and Doug discuss:

1) Spider Man Trailer (It’s not a teaser trailer)

2) The Transformers Teaser trailer

3) Ebert and how you pick critics you like

4) Fantastic Four 2 details

5) What does “No, Go or Routh” mean?

6) Katie Holmes in the next Batman (beaten to death with a lead pipe)

7) Wolverine script review

8) Casino Royale talk

9) Rob Schneider health problems… and career problems

All that and a few things more.

Warning: This podcast contains language that may not be suitable for even sailors. Listener discretion is advised.

Subscribe to The Audio Edition on iTunes! iTunes will automatically download each new episode for you as soon as they go online! Just click this button. iTunes will open to the Audio Edition page. When it does, just click “subscribe”. It’s that easy!

Or you can manually download this installment of The Audio Edition here.

Sony Shows 20 Minutes of Casino Royale At Cinema Expo

Casino-Royale-PosterI am personally really pumped about the new direction of the Bond franchise. Don’t get me wrong… I loved Brosnan as 007, but the casting of Daniel Craig gives a slightly darker and rougher edge to the assassin gentleman that we’ve never seen before. I like the idea of seeing a James Bond who looks like he could kick the shit out of me instead of one that looks like he’s just about to make my dinner and answer the door.

The good folks over at Coming Soon have posted up a report about Sony showing 20 minutes Casino Royale and the Cinema Expo in Amsterdam. Here’s what they had to say:

The footage showed off Craig as a grittier Bond, with scenes of more intense, visceral hand-to-hand combat than 007 has tackled in recent pics. One black-and-white scene flashed back to Bond’s first ever (brutal and hard-to-pull-off) kill as an agent, as well as his (much more sleek and signature) second assassination.

Also introducing the pic was one of the new Bond girls, Caterina Murino, and the reel featured some sultry scenes between her and Craig. For any gearheads, Bond’s new ride also got some screen time, as did high-octane chase scenes, including one of Craig following a baddie up and down a construction site with aerial jumps and twists.

All sounds good to me. The new James Bond flick hit theaters in November. Damn that’s getting close.

Corruption in Canadian Politics

Look, I’m not naive, I know special interest groups try to buy local politicians all the time. So why should Movie companies in Canada be any different? It’s not… but still… hearing stories like this one REALLY depresses me. The media companies already own the courts (by always having more money than the next guy to hire the biggest and most expensive lawyers), and now they want to own the government too.

My friend Jordon’s blog pointed me to this post by Michael Geist about Conservative politicians taking big money from various copyright lobby groups including the Canadian Motion Pictures Distributors Association:

A couple of weeks I blogged about Canadian Heritage Minister Bev Oda’s fundraising during the last federal election. Days before the vote, as the Conservative momentum made her a likely Cabinet minister, Oda accepted contributions from many in the copyright lobby including Universal Music (tied for her third largest external contributor), the Canadian Motion Pictures Distributors Association, the Entertainment Software Alliance, the Canadian Music Publishers Association, and CRIA’s own Graham Henderson.

Oda’s riding association has now released data for the full 2005 calendar year and her support from the copyright lobby is even more extensive than this initial list. While there is a similar list of individual donors, the corporate list is even more telling, particularly since those donations will no longer be permitted once the Federal Accountability Act becomes law. Financial supporters of Oda’s Durham riding association last year included:

* copyright lobby groups - CRIA, CFTA, CMPDA, CMMRA, Director’s Guild, Entertainment Software Association, SOCAN, Writer’s Guild
* record labels - BMG Canada, EMI Canada, Sony Music Canada, Warner Music Canada, Universal Music Canada
* broadcasters - Corus, Vision TV
* cable companies - CCTA, Cogeco, Rogers, Shaw
* lobby firms - Temple Scott Associates, Capitol Hill Group

Oh gee whiz… when a vote comes up in Parliament about new copyright laws… I wonder which way she’s going to vote? For the rights of the people? Or for the power of these media companies? Hmmmm. Like I said, I know stuff like this goes on all the time with every single political party… but that doesn’t make it easy to hear. Pretty soon the damn movie companies are going to want a tax on every time you even TALK about a movie with your friends… since your discussion involves “copywriten material”. Idiots.

Rob Schneider Collapses But Sadly Gets Back Up

According to the good folks over at Yahoo News, Rob Schneider collapsed on set of his new film “Big Stan”. According to the news:

Rob Schneider was taken to a Northern California hospital after collapsing from food poisoning and heat exhaustion during the filming of an upcoming movie.

“The combination of bad food and the heat just hit him,” said his publicist, Shara Koplowitz. She did not know what he ate but said he was treated at San Joaquin General Hospital and released Wednesday.

It’s good to hear he was well enough to be released the next day. It’s no secret that I hate Rob Schneider as a performer. He’s an “R” rated performer who targets his “R” rated material at 10 year old kids. However, from all accounts (aside form being stupid sometimes) he sounds like he’s a decent guy and no one wants to hear about others suffering health problems… even if they are actors you don’t like.

However, after feeling relieved that Schneider was ok… I kept reading the article and discovered the synopsis of what this next film he’s working on is about… and the fact that HE HIMSELF IS DIRECTING IT:

Schneider, who recently starred in “The Benchwarmers” and “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,” is directing the new movie in which he plays Big Stan, a con man locked up on fraud charges who learns kung fu to defend himself against other inmates.

I wish for the sake of all of us that when he was in the hospital they put him into an induced comma and spared us from this. Ok ok.. I am glad Schneider is ok… seriously. I just wish he’d take up another profession.

Wolverine Script Review

LatinoReview has put up a Wolverine script review and this is what they have to say:

Yes, that’s the verdict… the script kicks ass bub!

I love origin stories. Regardless if it’s Luke becoming a Jedi or Peter Parker discovering his new abilities. There is an insecurity about a person stepping into a new role that makes him/her an intersting character.

Read this! Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD!

In the 1st four pages we meet Logan as a 12 yr old boy, undersized and feral on a rural road on his way home from school. I couldn’t help stop thinking of feral kid from the Mad Max films. But anyway 4 towering high school football players pick him on. They pick on him because Logan’s dad robbed the local truck stop last year. Logan doesn’t back down as GILMAN punches Logan in the face twice. The gash on Logan’s face heals itself in front of Gilman and Logan goes into an inhuman rage and beats the shit out of the football players. Three bone claws spring from Logan’s hand, serrated and razor sharp as he goes in to finish Gilman. This is the first time that Logan’s bone claws appear to him and he is shocked more than his attackers. The football players’ escape alive and Logan looks at his bone claws and screams out…

SPOILERS FINISHED There was a fake rumour going around the internet that Woverine was going to have a 2007 release date. This turned out to not be true (thank goodness, they need time to do this right). The release date will probably be somewhere in 2008, which is a good amount of time and should fit betting into Jackman’s schedule.

Audio Edition - June 29th 2006

Only 2 topics on today’s Audio Edition kiddies! Today Doung and I discuss and review 2 movies:

1) Superman Returns

2) Pirates of the Caribbean 2

We’re saving a TON of good stuff for tomorrows show.

Warning: This podcast contains language that may not be suitable for even sailors. Listener discretion is advised.

Subscribe to The Audio Edition on iTunes! iTunes will automatically download each new episode for you as soon as they go online! Just click this button. iTunes will open to the Audio Edition page. When it does, just click “subscribe”. It’s that easy!

Or you can manually download this installment of The Audio Edition here.

Superman 29th Largest Opening Day - And It was A Wednesday

According to the good folks over at Boxoffice Mojo, Supermant Returns opening night took in over $21 million dollars.¬† That makes it the 29th largest opening day for a film in history.¬† Oh but here’s the kicker… you’ve got to keep in mind it opened on a Wednesday night instead of a Friday.¬† Those are good numbers.

A few days ago we had a poll asking how much Superman Returns (keeping in mind that it opened on Wednesday) would make by the end of the weekend.¬† Less the half the people who responded thought it would make over $100 million.¬† After making over $21 million on opening day I think it’s safe to say it will blow the doors off of $100 million by the end of the weekend EASILY.

If you missed it, you can watch my Superman Returns review here.

Transformers Teaser Trailer Here

Hey kiddies. Wanna see the Transformers Teaser Trailer? Look below.

**UPDATE** It’s Back

UPDATE #2 Screw it! Studio decided to not even try to fight it getting out on the internet and have put a HIGH QUALITY version of it up online at the official site! Go here to see it!

**UPDATE #3** - The Transformers site seems to have taken the trailer down. So here it is for you… my international friends.

The Wicker Man Not Being Shown To Critics

Wicker-ManAhh the trend continues. The new Nic Cage film “The Wicker Man“, a remake of the 1973 film of the same name, has put out a press release that gives us some insight to the film. The folks over at I Spit On Your Movie give us the following:

I have just read the press release for Lions Gates UK release of The Wicker Man re-make. At the bottom of the release in large print is the following: Please note the film is still in post-production, therefore screenings before release will not be possible.

You know what that means right? Let’s put it this way, if the studio was going to be HONEST, the press release would have looked like this:

“Upon reviewing our new film, we’ve realized that it’s a total pile of shit. Once word gets out how bad our movie is, it’ll tank at the box office and many of us will lose our jobs. We can’t stop word of mouth, so our only hope is to not allow critics to see it in advance and warn you. That way, we may still be able to pull in $30 million on opening weekend before word of mouth starts spreading around. Thank you for your understanding, and continued naivety.”

So there you have it folks. Be warned. The Wicker Man is going to suck, because by not releasing it to the critics in advance, the studio itself is pretty much admitting it themselves. Stay Away.

New Saw 3 Poster

A new poster for Saw 3 has been released.¬† For those of you who don’t already know, here’s the plot outline for the film:

With his new apprentice Amanda (Shawnee Smith), the puppet-master behind the cruel, intricate games that have terrified a community and baffled police has once again eluded capture and vanished. While city detectives scramble to locate him, Doctor Lynn Denlon (Bahar Soomekh) is unaware that she is about to become the latest pawn on his vicious chessboard.

One night, after finishing a shift at her hospital, Lynn is kidnapped and taken to an abandoned warehouse where she meets Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), bedridden and on the verge of death. She is told that she must keep the madman alive for as long as it takes Jeff (Angus Macfayden), another of his victims, to complete a game of his own. Racing against the ticking clock of Jigsaw’s own heartbeat, Lynn and Jeff struggle to make it through each of their vicious tests, unaware that he has a much bigger plan for both of them…

The poster is below. To see a much larger version of it you can go here.


Zoom Trailer

zoomA trailer for Tim Allen’s new flick ZOOM has just hit the web. Zoom is about Allen, who is a superhero that is brought out of retirement to train a new generation of Superheroes.. Yes, it does sound a bit weak doesn’t it?

However, the trailer just came out… and a strange thing happened. Although I thought it was dumb… I caught myself smiling through most of it. Maybe it could end up being kind of cute? If nothing else I can just stare at Courtney Cox for 90 minutes (I had such a MASSIVE crush on that woman for like 5 years).

You can catch the Zoom trailer here. Thanks to the folks at Cinemablend for the heads up.

Kate Holmes Back For Next Batman. Dies?

The guys over at Moviehole have put up a VERY interesting comment about the upcoming Batman movie revolving around the poster girl for “Waste of potential” Katie Holmes. Despite the fact that almost NO ONE on the planet wants her in the next Batman flick, it appears she will be there… but maybe that’s a GOOD thing! Here’s what he had to say:

Yep, Katie will indeed be reprising her role as Rachel Dawes for the “Batman” sequel - as brief as her turn may be. Can’t say anymore without being pummelled by David S.Goyer.

Ok, so this COULD be a good news/Bad news situation. The bad news is obviously that Holmes will be back in Batman (If you believe the story that is). However… saying it’ll only be a small part… that COULD be FANTASTIC news. Think about it… why else have her in there for a short time unless THEY’RE GOING TO KILL HER OFF!!! Oh man! Can you imagine the cheers in the movie theaters across North America if that happens! People want to see a “dark” batman? Imagine how “dark” they can make him if his girl gets beaten to death by someone (probably the joker… but I’m just guessing). Man, that would set up an AMAZING hate on between Bats and Joke.

So yeah, by all means bring Katie Holmes back… and then kill her. JOY!

Anthony Hopkins is Leo Tolstoy

I know I can sound like a gushing fanboy whenever I talk about Anthony Hopkins… but the man is pure liquid Awsomeness. The word has just come out that Anthony Hopkins is going to play Leo Tolstoy in the upcoming film “Last Station, and it sound amazing already.

The good folks over at M&C give us this:

Michael Hoffman is set to direct Anthony Hopkins, Meryl Streep and Paul Giamatti in the historical biopic of the last years of Leo Tolstoy’s (Hopkins) life. Torn between his professed doctrine of poverty and chastity and the reality of his enormous wealth, his thirteen children, and a life of hedonism, Tolstoy makes a dramatic flight from his home.

Too ill to continue beyond the tiny rail station at Astapovo, he believes that he is dying alone, while over one hundred newspapermen camp outside awaiting hourly reports on his condition.

Beautiful. Sounds like a great opportunity for some rich story telling. Hopkins excels in these kinds of pictures. It gives him the chance to take a movie on his shoulders and really carry it. Very few people in movies today can do it better than him.

The film is set to start shooting in February in Russia. I can’t wait.

Major Piracy Ring Broken Up

pirates-bustedIn the US, the FBI just busted two movie piracy rings that they claim could be responsible for up to HALF of all the illegal recordings made of films in the US. Holy crap… if that’s even CLOSE to true, these guys must have been busy little bees.

The folks at Yahoo News give us this:

The FBI broke up two movie piracy rings Wednesday that authorities said specialized in sneaking digital camcorders into theaters and shooting hit films, then duplicating and distributing millions of bootlegs worldwide.

One of the movies the suspects were conspiring to profit from was “Superman Returns,” the highly anticipated film released Wednesday, officials said. The FBI learned that assistants were used to surround “cammers,” people who specialize in covertly filming movies, to conceal their filming and prevent people from blocking the view.

The suspects were awaiting arraignment in federal court in Manhattan. Each could face five years in prison if convicted of conspiracy, copyright infringement and trafficking in counterfeit goods.

Holy crap!!! 5 years in prison? Listen, I’m all for busting guys who pull this kind of crap… I really am. Trying to profit off of someone elses work is low… but 5 years in prison? Guys get probation for assaulting and beating the piss out of people on the side walks… but for sneaking a cam into a theater you could get 5 years?!?!

Meh… I guess if you violate the health and rights of poor people you get a slap on the wrist… violate the rights of the rich you get 5 years. Someone please tell me again why our culture is so much better than everyone elses. I forget sometimes.

Transformers Teaser Description

I had a ton of people send me this last night and this morning. Apparently it’s the teaser trailer description for The Transformer which is coming out in just a few weeks. Here’s the description:

Trailer #1
Running time: 1:36

The trailer begins with quick shots of a rocket preparing to launch. Your basic pre-flight stuff. You can hear flight control and the countdown. You then see the rocket blasting off.

IN 2003,

You see the probe entering the red atmosphere of Mars.


Many shots of the rover on the surface of Mars, all shown from a variety on cameras on-board the probe itself.


More shots from the rover’s point of view.

Suddenly, you hear heavy footsteps coming toward the rover, and a shadow falls over the rover. A humanoid robot shape steps into the rover’s view, but it stands in front of the sun, silhouetting the robot.

After a beat, the robot smashes the rover with its fist.



Now we see the Earth almost exactly as it appears in the teaser poster (but without the eye). The orchestral theme begins to swell in an ominous way.

The TRANSFORMERS logo then appears as it looks in the teaser poster.

The logo itself then transforms very complicated-like into


Which then transforms into the Autobot symbol.

Overall, a very foreboding tone to the teaser. It fits in well with the tagline of “Their War. Our World.”

I can’t say for sure that this is real… but a lot of people out there seem to think it is. Your thoughts?

What Does “No, Go and Routh” Mean In Our Reviews?

If you’ve watched one of my video reviews, or listened to us review a flick on The Audio Edition, you’ve probably heard us judge films based on a scale of “No, Go or Routh”. No obviously means “Don’t see this movie”. Go means “Yeah, go see this movie”… but what on earth does “ROUTH” mean?

A lot of people always ask me this question… so I thought I’d try to explain it.

Many months ago on The Audio Edition, Darren, Doug and I were talking about a hilarious (and true) story about how the studio execs thought Brandon Routh’s (the new Superman) “Bulge” (you know what I’m talking about), was TOO BIG and that it was a distraction. They got a special effects company to DIGITALLY REDUCE the size of Routh’s package on screen.

We howled at this (come on… it’s HILARIOUS!). I believe Doug then mention that “Routh is indeed the complete PACKAGE!” We laughed some more. And then… HISTORY HAPPENED!

Darren then suggested that since Routh is indeed “The Complete Package”, we should invoke his name whenever we see a movie that is “The Totall Package”. Hence from that day forward, whenever we thought a movie was great… we would say it was “ROUTH”.

So there you have it boys and girls. The mystery is revelaed. Our terminology for movie greatness is a reference to Brandon Routh’s package… the envy of every man. Come on… wouldn’t you love to tell some girl: “Yeah… I’m so big they had to digitally REDUCE me so I wouldn’t be a distraction”? All Hail Routh!

Audio Edition Late tonight

Hey there guys. John here.

Just a quick update. The Audio Edition will be late tonight (really late tonight). Both Doug and I have to go into Toronto… I have to go see a screening of Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and Doug has a comedy show he’s doing at Yuk Yuks (you should go if you’re in the area.

So The Audio Edition should be up and online by around midnight EST.


Fantastic Four 2 Plot?

A couple of places around the web are reporting that the plot synopsis for Fantastic Four 2 has been released. I personally can neither confirm nor deny the authenticity of this… but several other sites out there that I respect are saying it is. So there you go.

The good folks over at Canmag gives us this outline of the plot:

Marvel’s first family of superheroes, The Fantastic Four, meets their greatest challenge yet in Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer as the enigmatic, intergalactic herald, The Silver Surfer, comes to Earth to prepare it for destruction. As the Silver Surfer races around the globe wreaking havoc, Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben must unravel the mystery of the Silver Surfer and confront the surprising return of their mortal enemy, Dr. Doom, before all hope is lost.

Ok, now let’s just assume for a moment that this is all legit. To me, that’s a pretty solid sounding basis for the next Fantastic Four film. Now, we already know what the “secret” of the Silver Surfer is (Galactus), but seeing a Silver Surfer on screen is going to be pretty damn cool… as long as they can figure out a way to make sure he doesn’t just look sorta silly on screen (I mean come on… you have to admit the POTENTIAL for high cheese is there when the dude is called “The SIlver Surfer” and flies around on a cosmic surf board).

Also, it looks like the studio heard everyone complaining about the title “Fantastic Four: The Next Chapter” and have apparently changed the name to “Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer”.

Your thoughts?

John Reviews Superman Returns

John gives his quick 3 minute Superman Returns review.

How Much Will Superman Make Opening Weekend?

Prediction time boys and girls. The question is simple. Including it’s early Wednesday opening… how much will Superman Returns make in it’s opening weekend?

Web Polls by Vizu

For the record, I’m calling for over $100 million easy.

Spider-Man 3 Trailer Online NOW!

Sony has put out a press release letting us all know that at 2:30pm (EST) the Apple Trailers website will launch the first Spider-Man 3 teaser trailer online. Guess I won’t have to wait until tonight (when I see Superman Returns) to see it after all.

Here’s a breakdown of the times:

US East Coast - 2:30pm, US West Coast - 11:30am, UK - 7:30pm, Australian East Coast - Wednesday, 4:30am

But be warned… don’t expect too much from this teaser. The movie is still a year away, their still in production, and not a ton of work has been done yet. Expcet some glimpses here and there. Just remember… this is a TEASER trailer. I’ll post up the link when the trailer goes live and give my thoughts.


The Trailer is now up and online! You can see it here.

My thoughts: Decent trailer… but it really doesn’t tell us anything at all… which is what it should do perhpas.

I think people are getting a little too excited about it. Any movie can make a trailer look great if all they do is tell you nothing and show nothing but action shots. Remember all of the new Star Wars trailers? They looked wicked too… just action.. no story… and everyone drooled (me included). This trailer doesn’t really do anything for me (I know most of you seem to love it), but it just looks like another FLUFF action trailer with no meat. Just my opion.

Ebert Does NOT Like Superman

It’s no secret that Superman Returns has been my single most anticipated film since Revenge of the Sith. I think it’s going to be amazing, and in my mind (so far) Bryan Singer can do no wrong (a bit fan boyish of me I admit… but there you go).

Just about every major critic has been going crazy with love for Superman Returns. However… don’t start shinning up that Oscar just yet. Roger Ebert just put out his review of Superman Returns, and it’s not quite as pretty:

This is a glum, lackluster movie in which even the big effects sequences seem dutiful instead of exhilarating. The newsroom of the Daily Planet, filled with eccentricity and life in the earlier movies, now seems populated by corporate drones. Jimmy Olsen, the copy boy, such a brash kid, seems tamed and clueless. Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has lost her dash and pizzazz, and her fiance, Richard White (James Marsden), regards her like a deer caught in the headlights. Even the editor, Perry White (Frank Langella), comes across less like a curmudgeon, more like an efficient manager.

Ouch ouch Ouch!

So what does this mean? I’m going to see Superman Returns in about 9 hours. My expectation levels just droped a couple of points. I actually respect Ebert a lot. However… do keep in mind that this is the same Ebert who just gave that sack of shit movie, Fast And the Furious 3, a positive reviews. So take that as you will.

Maybe Superman Returns will suck after all? Maybe it will rule? I’ll let you know my thoughts after the show. Up Up and away mother F’ers.

10 Reasons Why High Definition DVD Formats Have Already Failed

As a follow up to the recent discussions we’ve been having on the new High Def DVD wars on the Audio Editions, New Zeland reader Timslim sent me this interesting link to an article on Audioholics AV Magazine website called “10 Reasons Why High Definition DVD Formats Have Already Failed”. It’s a fantastic article and worth your time to read.

Here are their 10 reasons (without giving you the descriptions… you should go read the article for that):

1) Nobody likes false starts

2) Format Wars Don’t Sell Players

3) HD DVD and Blu-ray are NOT Quantum Leaps in Technology

4) Studios are Conservative, Greedy and Unmotivated

5) Playstation3 Cannot Save the World

6) Those Who Ignore History…

7) People Want Technology that’s 15 Minutes Ahead of Its Time

8) Enthusiasts Are Getting Tired (and Smarter)

9) A Skeptical News Media Doesn’t Help

10) Broadband and IPTV to Compete?

The authour of the article ends his piece by making this interesting statement:

So, while I certainly hope for the best, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. High definition is headed for a niche market at best, not an industry takeover.

I don’t know if I totally agree with him… but he makes some wonderful points. Like I said, you should really go give the article a read.

As a follow up, you can also check out my article I put up last month called Blu-Ray and HD DVD Can Both Go Screw Themselves

Audio Edition - June 26th 2006

Welcome to the Monday Round Table! Today Doug, Darren and myself discuss:

1) Keith Richards appearing in Pirates 3

2) Casting Call for Transformers

3) Documentaries and objectivity

4) Postapocalyptic vampire western movie “Priest”

5) In The Name of the King trailer

6) We review Click

7) We review Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (Doug Freaks out)

All this and a few things more.

Warning: This podcast contains language that may not be suitable for even sailors. Listener discretion is advised.

Subscribe to The Audio Edition on iTunes! iTunes will automatically download each new episode for you as soon as they go online! Just click this button. iTunes will open to the Audio Edition page. When it does, just click “subscribe”. It’s that easy!

Or you can manually download this installment of The Audio Edition here.

In The Name Of The King Trailer

In-The-Name-Of-The-KingOh my sweet goodness. My eyes have beheld perhaps the worst trailer I’ve ever seen in my life. Uwe Boll’s new film “In The Name Of The King”. Thanks to Vaurn for the heads up.

One of the things that REALLY stands out (although there are many) is how bad the casting is. Not that the movie looks like it’s filled with bad cast (actually I like most of them in it) it’s just that they’re the wrong people for those roles. But then again it’s a Uwe Boll project… so what was I thinking. You can see the In The Name Of The King trailer here. Warning… this thing is HORRIBLE.

Thomas Haden Church - the physique of a fishwife

I’ve always liked Thomas Haden Church all the way back to his days on Wings (man that was an under appreciated show!) By now you all know that Church is playing the villain Sandman in Spider-Man 3. What I didn’t know was a funny conversation that took place between Church and Sam Raimi (the director) just after he was cast for the role.

The good folks over at Digital Spy give us this:

Church reportedly said, “When I met with the producers and director last year they said, ‘We probably need you to get in a specific physical shape for the movie. Do you mind taking your shirt off?’

I took my shirt off and the director Sam Raimi said ‘We’re going to need you to gain about 100 pounds of muscle. You’ve come here today with the physique of a fishwife and that doesn’t fit our scheme.’”

Oh man that’s funny. Well.. from the looks of the pictures I’ve seen it does indeed look like the man bulked up a lot. No, not 100 pounds of muscle… but bigger for sure. Can’t wait to see this thing.

Postapocalyptic Vampire Western - Priest

Ok, we’ve already well established years ago that I am a card carrying geek. No argument. So when I hear of a movie described as a “postapocalyptic vampire western”, how on earth can I help but be at least a little intrigued?

Priest is the name of the film. The good folks over at Cinescape give us this:

PRIEST will follow a warrior priest played by Butler who disobeys the church law and teams with a young sheriff played by Strait and a priestess. Together they attempt to track down a band of renegade vampires who have kidnapped the priest’s niece.

Sound a bit formulaic? WHO CARES?!?!?! This sounds awsome!!! Sign me up!

Already set to star in the film is Scotish born actor Gerard Butler (Beowulf and Grendel, Phantom of the Opera). Directing will be Andrew Douglas (The Amityville Horror). Come on kids… say it with me again:

Postapocalyptic vampire western” Yay!!!


Uglies MovieI have yet to seen a movie adaptation of a young adult book that has really really impressed me. But I’ve got to admit this one sounds interesting. Uglies is on its way. The good folks over at Dark Horizons gives us this:

Futuristic tale taps into teen angst over conformity and acceptance. Kids are called “Uglies” until they reach 16 and get surgically transformed into the attractive “Pretties,” who move to the glamorous part of town. A precocious teen is threatened with being denied the procedure unless she spies on a pal who skipped the operation and joined a rebellious group.

Sounds like an interesting project in the spirit of a Gattaca or Logan’s Run. ‘m curious to see how this one turns out. The studio (Murdoch) has bought the rights to all 3 books… so we’ll see if this turns into a franchise. No word yet on director or cast.

Around The Web - June 26 2006

Here are some of the other movie news stories floating around the web today:

- AICN gives it’s review of Pirates of the Caribbean 2

- Click Win Box Office Whoopie! It’s didn’t open against anything. I had a bet with a few guys that it wouldn’t crack $50 million. I won.

- More stuff on Grindhouse

- 2 new Matthew McConaughey projects These actaully both sound pretty good

- Rutger Hauer Plays The Magic Flute

- Antonio Banderas and Annette Bening in Homeland Security

- The Rock Rolls Ankle, Delays Filming

- Poster for the new film “The U.S. vs. John Lennon

Superman Guide

No one will really argue… Superman is the god of the Super Hero world. I’m not saying he’s the most popular… or even the “best” (a very subjective term), but most will agree that Superman is “THE” superhero. He’s been around longer than any other modern hero, he embodies all ofthe purest ideals of a hero, and without question he is still the single most powerful being in the universe. Supes is “the man”.

His comic, cartoon, TV and movie career is a long one. So right now, the good folks over at Cinema Blend have put up a “Superman Guide” that quickly gives you an overview of the media career of The Man of Steel. It’s quite good and worth a look.

Casting Call For The Transformers

Wolf brought this to my attention this morning. The good folks over at Superhero Hype have reported that there is an open casting call going on right now for Transformers the Movie. Man I suddenly wish I was under 23. Here’s the call:

Central Casting is holding an open call for 16 & 17 year olds and 18-23 year olds that look like High School students for the new Michael Bay feature film, “Transformers.” We need SAG Members and Non-Union. The scheduled work dates are July 10-12, 2006. Dates are subject to change. The open call will be held at Central Casting in Burbank, CA. Anyone interested in attending should call 818-503-3329 for more information.

The Open Call will be held:
Date: Thursday, June 29, 2006
Time: 5PM - 8PM
Location: Central Casting
220 South Flower Street
Burbank, CA 91502

Remember… if you see this here and get a part…. TELL THEM THEY SHOULD GET JOHN CAMPEA IN IT TOO DAMNIT!!!!!!

New Spider-Man 3 Set Pics

We’re still so far away from Spider-Man 3, but the hype is already insane. People (including me) are so looking forward to this flick it’s nuts. Can’t get enough? Well lucky for you some more WONDERFUL Spider-Man 3 set pics have made theri way on the web. Below are just 2 of them. To see a TON of Spider-Man 3 set pics (much larger too) you can just go here. Enjoy.

Keith Richards Finally Confirmed For Pirates 3

The running soap opera of “Is Keith Richards going to appear in the new Pirates of the Caribbean films or not” questions has been raging back and forth for well over a year now. The background for this comes from the fact that Johnny Depp confirmed that he based his Jack Sparrow character on Richards himself. That obviously lead to people (including myself) speculating that Richards would show up at some point as Jack’s dad.

People who have screened Pirates 2 have already let it slip that Richards does NOT appear in the film. What a shame.

But hold on to your pirate hats. The good folks over at Filmforce have recently interviewed Pirates director Gore Verbinski and asked him if Richards was ever going to show up. This is what he said:

“Keith is definitely going to be in the third movie… It’s a small part, but it’s a great part.”

Boom! So there you have it. Keith Richards (if he’s still alive) will 100% for sure be in Pirates 3. I think that’s wonderful!

No some of you might be saying “But John… you hate it when music stars are given roles in movies!” That’s not quite true. I hate it when music stars are given LEAD or significant roles in movies. I have no problem with smaller parts that don’t require much talent are given to a celebrity when the novelty of that certain celebrity making an appearance would add to the enjoyment of the film. Richards as Jack’s dad is a perfect example of this. I’m all for it.

Audio Edition - June 23rd 2006

Sorry we missed Wednesday guys… but I was sick… as a matter of fact as you’ll hear in the show I’m still a little sick and in a FOUL mood. On today’s show we discuss:

1) M. Night Shyamalan acting dumb

2) Studios acting dumb towards iTunes movie sales prices

3) More dumb Lord Of the Rings DVDs

4) Dumb Blu-Ray / HD-DVD stuff

5) Sabertooth in the Wolverine Movie… not so dumb

All this and a few things more.

Warning: This podcast contains language that may not be suitable for even sailors. Listener discretion is advised.

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M. Night Shyamalan A Little Crying Suck?

Ok, now before I get into it here… let me say a couple of things.

1) I LOVED Sixth Sense

2) I LOVED Signs

3) I think M. Night Shyamalan is very gifted.

There… we clear on that? Good.

It’s no big secret that prior to the production of “Lady in the Water” that M. Night Shyamalan and Disney had a parting of the ways. Fair enough. That happens all the time in business relationships. No big deal. But now according to the guys over at Filmrot, there is a book coming out about the split being told from Shyamalan’s point of view called “How M. Night Shyamalan Risked His Career on a Fairy Tale”.

The long and the short of it is this. Shyamalan describes how everything fell apart with Disney. It all basically happened over a dinner meeting with Disney production President Nina Jacobson. In the dinner meeting, Jacobson describes her concerns with Shyamalan’s script for Lady in the Water:

At a disastrous dinner in Philadelphia last year, Jacobson delivered a frank critique of the “Lady in the Water” script. When she told him that she and her boss, studio Chairman Dick Cook, didn’t “get” the idea, Shyamalan was heartbroken. Things got only worse when she lambasted his inclusion of a mauling of a film critic in the story line and told Shyamalan his decision to cast himself as a visionary writer out to change the world bordered on self-serving. But Shyamalan gets his revenge on Jacobson in the book, in which he says he had felt for some time that he “had witnessed the decay of her creative vision right before his own wide-open eyes. She didn’t want iconoclastic directors. She wanted directors who made money.”

Ok, now most internet pundits (whom I respect very very much) are jumping on this story and yelling “YEAH M. NIGHT!!! You stick it to the man!!!” Because we all know how evil and dumb the studios are right? Right? RIGHT?

The problem is that “the studios are dumb” is an inaccurate fall back position we often take when we don’t actually want to THINK about the issue at hand. Studios are actually filled with brilliant people, who from time to time do very very very stupid things (if you’ve read The Movie Blog for any length of time you know I slam the studios almost as much as anyone sometimes).

But you know what I see when I read Shyamalan’s account of that infamous dinner meeting? I see a spoiled and arrogant filimmaker who thinks he can do no wrong who refused to listen to criticism from anyone. I see a filmmaker whose last film (The Village) totally sucked ass, and yet has his nose so far up his own ass he thinks that if people don’t like his work, the problem must be theirs.

And you know what? I think Jacobsen was right! Putting himself in that role DOES seem totally arrogant and self promoting. Having a film critic attacked DOES seem like he’s got the maturity of a 5 year old and he’s lashing out at someone who dissed one of his films. So yeah.. I think it was totally fair of Jacobson to raise those issues.

So what does Shyamalan do??? Does he say “Thanks for the feedback. Let me think about what you said”? Nope. He throws a hissy fit that comes across as “HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SHYAMALAN!!!! DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I THINK I AM!?!?!” He walks out, finds another studio that will kiss his ass, and then has a book written to vilify those who would dare question him. What a bitch.

So yeah… while everyone else is cheering this guy for what he did… all I can see is a childish little suck who didn’t like being told he wasn’t perfect… took his ball and went home… then cried about how he wasn’t worshiped at Disney for the god he thinks he is in a book where he calls a lot of people a lot of names. That’s what I see.

The studios can be idiots sometimes… yes. They can be driven by greed many times… yes. They can lack vision sometimes… yes. All very very true. But NONE of that changes this issue. To me, M. Night Shyamalan acted like a little whinny suck at that dinner… and now is acting like a little whinny bitch with a book. Slam me all you want… but that’s how I see it.

Iron Man May 2008

Iron Man (being directed by Jon Favreau) has its release date. May 2nd, 2008. So just under 2 years from now he’ll be on the big screen.

On the positive side, as Darren S. pointed out to me, this is good news because it means they’re not overly rushing the project… and as a matter of fact I’m sure a good amount of work has already been done for the man in steel (Favreau appeared in another superhero film, DareDevil… but don’t worry he didn’t direct it).

Hooraayy right? Well… not to me. I could honestly care less. To me, it’s just a Batman knock off. I wealthy multi-billionare by day who uses his big cash to buy cool toys that he uses to fight crime. Yeah… I’ve seen that before. And, as I’ve mentioned before in the Audio Edition, they’ve already said they’re not going to use the ONLY element of Iron Man that even makes him remotely interesting to me… his alcoholism. That’s what give him depth and sets him apart. That’s where the rich story telling lies. But they’ve removed it… so I’m left without any reason to care.

Iron Man comes out May 2 2008… despite how much I like Favreau, I’m sure I’ll be doing something else that day.

Watchmen Gets New Director

Well it’s been a while since there has been any substantive Watchmen news, but it appears that the gears are once again in motion. According to Yahoo, Warner Bros. Pictures has hired Dawn of the Dead (the 2004 version) director Zach Snyder to “develop and direct” the graphic novel adaptation.

Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean anything since at previous points in time Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky, Paul Greengrass and screenwriter David Hayter have all been attached and subsequently unattached form the Watchmen project. Having said that, this one seems to have a little more juice:

Alex Tse, who worked with director Spike Lee on the Showtime cable network production “Sucker Free City,” is writing a script for the long-gestating “Watchmen” project, now in the pipeline at Warner Bros. Pictures. In November, “Watchmen” appeared as the only graphic novel on Time magazine’s list of the 100 best novels since 1923.

Set in an alternate America, “Watchmen” follows the costumed hero Rorschach, who is living a vigilante lifestyle because most masked crime-fighters have retired or been outlawed. While investigating a murder, he learns that a former masked-hero colleague has been killed, prompting him to begin investigating a possible conspiracy.

This is a film that should definetly get made. To be honest I’m shocked it wasn’t in theaters years ago. I’m even more surprised that this project didn’t get fast tracked after the success of Sin City. But life is full of surprises.

Will There Be A Blu-Ray HD-DVD Cross Player?

One of the biggest objections that I, and many other have with these new High Definition formats (Blu-Ray and HD-DVD) is that fact that we don’t want to get caught in the middle of yet another format war. With many studios already announcing that their movies will only be released in either one format or the other, why would I want to invest $800 in a player that some of my favorite movie won’t even be available in? Or even worse… what if I end up investing $3000 in a new Blu-Ray player and a bunch of Blu-Ray movies… only to find that a year later HD-DVD wins the format war and Blu-Ray goes under (remember Beta anyone?)

One of the obvious possible solutions (if you can call it that) are universal machines that would play BOTH formats. Sounds good right? Well, both Samsung and LG have both announced that they’re are developing such machines… machines that will play both HD-DVD and Blu-Ray. Let the world celebrate! But wait a second, before you plan that parade there are 2 really important things to keep in mind:

#1) The price. When the first machines came out that had the abilities to play both VHS and DVDs, the price was MORE than what it would have cost you to just buy both of them. Eventually they started to come down… but even today it would be cheaper for you to buy a VHS and a DVD player than it would to buy one of those cross platform machine. So you want a machine that will play both HD-DVD and Blu-Ray? Get ready for a price tag around the $1300+ mark. No thanks.

#2) Now this is the biggest thing. Not too long ago on TWIT (the biggest technology podcast out there) they were talking about the fact that LG had announced they were developing a universal machine to play both formats… but they also had one of the top top dogs from Blu-Ray on who said that they have no intentions of licensing any manufacturer to make a duo machine. Basically he said that they would not allow their player format to be in a machine that played both formats. Period.

So where does that leave things? Samsung and LG are still moving ahead with developing these new machines… but I haven’t heard or read anything about the licensing issue being cleared up yet. One of the following must be going on:

a) LG and Samsung have been told the issues will be resolved by the time their new machines are ready near the end of the year, so they can go ahead and develop them.

b) LG and Samsung are just HOPING the issues will be resolved by the time the machines are ready.

c) LG and Samsung could care less about the licensing and plan to develop the machines and fight it in court when the machines are ready

d) LG and Samsung are hoping that by the time their machines are ready, that both Blu-Ray and HD-DVD won’t want to bother fighting it

Personally, I say to hell with all of them! These big rich companies are all acting like stupid little children. They should have had all these issues figured out a LONG TIME AGO before it came to this. There should have been 1 single universal format. But instead they decided to fight it out… and the only people who will pay the price… is us… the consumers. Screw them and their new HD formats. I’m not giving them any of my money until they figure this crap out.

The Audio Edition On The Front Page Of Yahoo Podcast

Wow… this is pretty damn cool! Carl just pointed out to me that even though we’re not on the iTunes “featured podcasts” list yet, Yahoo Podcasts has featured us on their front page! (see the image below). All Hail Yahoo’s Podcast page! (

Wanna hear the whole Superman Returns Soundtrack?

The good folks over at SuperHeroHype have just posted up a link to a full stream of the entire Superman Returns soundtrack. I just personally finished listening to it and it sound AMAZING!!! I can already pictreu things in my head to certain pieces. Yay!!!

This movie is just going to rule!

You can go here the Superman Returns Soundtrack here.

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