Archive for May, 2008

The Macho Movie Review: Colossus And The Amazon Queen

Ladies and Gentlemen; it’s my great pleasure to present our review of Colossus And The Amazon Queen!

To Listen To The Podcast Click Here

Over the next 50 weeks, we will be discussing Macho Movies; we are currently digging through the Warriors Movie Pack made available through Mill Creek Entertainment. You can find the set for about 20-30 USD. We encourage all interested to buy the pack, and/or download the films that are public domain.

On todays show we review Colossus And The Amazon Queen, then dish about Amazon Jail and She Devils Of The SS! Highlights from Colossus And The Amazon Queen Include: Pirate Abduction, Amazon Lust Rituals and Man Slaves Guarded By Bears!

For those of you following along with us in the series, please share your thoughts in the comments section!


Wintle, Plante & Nagy deem this film to be worth 7 Hydra Heads out of 9.

There’s no way I will miss Miss Sex and the City

This Comedy.com clip about Sex and the City pretty much sums up why this movie is going to be a success. It gives voice to all the things we have said about it here.

Chronological errors however, the guy in the board room was supposed to be from 2 years ago and he references girly shows and movies that didn’t exist 2 years ago. I know because I watch all of those shows with my wife. For the same reasons he says.

Yet Another New Dark Knight Trailer

Here another new Dark Knight Trailer in very poor quality. It’s easily my favorite one so far even though it’s VERY similar to the last one. The one major difference is the beginning of the trailer where we hear a bit of The Joker’s plan. Batman has to “turn himself in”, or The Joker will kill more people every day. AWESOME!!!! Check it out. Thanks to Ty for the heads up.

The Movie Blog: Uncut Podcast - May 30th 2008


Hey there folks! Welcome to the Friday celebratory, week ending installment of your Movie Blog Uncut podcast. It’s a rather huge weekend for female film fans with the release of Sex and the City, so we’ve got that right near the top of our list today. So sit back, relax and join us as Doug and I discuss:

1) The Strangers

2) Sex and the City

3) The fall of George Lucas and what could bring him back

4) Patrick Swayze in Point Break 2 after all?

5) Donnie Darko 2

6) The passing of Harvey Corman and Alexander Courage

7) Transformers 2 casting news

8) Netflix to peak in less than 5 years

9) Beverly Hills Cop 4 - Brett Ratner to direct?

10) James McAvoy as Bilbo Baggins (Jack Black the other option)

All this and a few things more.

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Shorts

Robert Rodriguez has another children’s movie in the works. We learn about Shorts, and get the following pot synopsis thanks to the fledgeling caves of yahoo:

TV stars Jon Cryer and James Spader are returning to the big screen, signing up to star in Robert Rodriguez’s “Shorts,” a family adventure movie that also stars William H. Macy and Leslie Mann. Rodriguez, who also wrote the screenplay, is serving as his own director of photography, editor and visual effects supervisor. The Warner Bros. project is shooting on location in Rodriguez’s Austin hometown.

“Shorts” is set in fictional Black Falls, a suburb where everyone works for Black Box Unlimited Worldwide Industries Inc., whose communication gadget is sweeping the country. A youngster (Jimmy Bennett) discovers a rainbow-colored rock that grants wishes to anyone who holds it. First it causes havoc among the kid population, but things get turned up several notches when adults get their hands on it.

Rodriguez is able to go from gritty, titillating actioners to children’s films with no bother at all. I admire his versatility and ability to wear different hats for whatever project he puts his hands on. I am not interested in his children’s projects, but I have no problem with him using his skill to delight youngsters.

Rodriguez also continues to do as many jobs as humanly possible, overlooking many areas of production. His ability to do much of the work himself was helpful as a fledgeling filmmaker, and now he continues to do so out of love for the craft, and to ensure that his minds eye gets properly represented on the screen.

He is a talented man that can spin a tale, I always like to see what he has on deck.

We will be certain to keep you and your young ones up to speed on this project.

The Boleyn Inheritance

BolinIt looks like The Other Boleyn Girl will be getting a complimentary film in The Boleyn Inheritance. We get the skinny from our friends at the moviehole:

A sequel to the moderately-successful “The Other Boleyn Girl” is in the works, according to the New York Post. The sequel will be based off of another novel by Philippa Gregory entitled “The Boleyn Inheritance.”

The new movie would be told through the eyes of two of Henry VIII’s wives, Anne of Cleves and Katherine Howard. Its unlikely that Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman would return, though Eric Bana may be coaxed into wearing the crown again.

I enjoyed “The Other Boleyn Girl and would be willing to check out another film adaptation of Philippa Gregory’s work. The idea of telling the story from the perspective of two of Henry’s wives is a cool follow up to the film that focused on his concubines.

Reaction from those that have read The Other Boleyn Girl were mixed. Some enjoyed the film, others hated it. It will be interesting to see if this upcoming project appeals to the readers more or less than the previous incarnation.

Those of you that are fans of Philippa Gregory’s books, if you could please share your thoughts on this news - I would be grateful.

The Cause Of George Lucas’ Fall - And How He Can Rise Again

George-Lucas-Groove-BackWhen something is much loved, mediocrity or any lack of excellence is not tolerated and can illicit much anger and hatred. The poster boy case study for this is George Lucas.

The reality is, when you poll most people who never saw the original Star Wars trilogy (believe it or not those poor souls are out there), many of them looked at the new prequels and generally thought they were not bad. “Ok” seems to be the main sentiment. However, ask those of us who hold Star Wars deep within our hearts what most of us thought of the prequels… and you’re more than likely to get assaulted with a profanity laced barrage of hatred and anger. “Worst movies ever” is a phrase you’ll hear quite often.

Now the anger is being passed on to Indiana Jones 4. The general movie going audience seem to like the film and critics seem to have enjoyed it as well (I was disappointed with it as an Indiana Jones film, but still thought it was fun over all). But a lot of folks online who hold Indiana Jones as almost a religious figure can’t tolerate Indy being any less that amazing (and who can blame them?)

But preconceptions and expectations aside, almost EVERYONE agrees that the latest Star Wars offerings pale in comparison to the originals and that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the worst of the Indy films.

So what happened to George Lucas? Yes the man is still a pure genius… pushing the movie industry forward in technical arts for digital filmmaking, Visual effects, sound and almost every other area you can imagine. His various companies are responsible for the most important technological breakthroughs in film over the last 20 years… and no one… I mean no one knows how to promote, not just a film, but a brand like he does. He isn’t the world’s richest independent film maker for no reason. But when it comes to creative vision and skill in the craft of visual storytelling, it would be an understatement to say the man has lost a step or two over the years.

How did this happen? Almost 40 years ago he was considered to be THE up and coming director. Many forget (or never knew) that Lucas was getting critical praise long before the name “Luke Skywalker” was ever uttered. American Graffiti was not only nominated for Best Picture at the 1974 Oscars… but George Lucas himself was individually nominated for best screenplay as the writer and was also nominated for Best Director. His student film THX 1138 became a legend… and then came Star Wars (and we all know what happened after that).

But herein lies the problem. Yes, George Lucas has given us and is responsible for the 2 best franchises and 6 of the greatest movies of all time… but that success seems to have killed him as a creative force and artistic visionary. Creative forces like George Lucas NEED new challenges, new horizons and new countries to explore. When the explorer in the artist dies, the creativity seems to start a slow death march. And for almost the last 40 years, the explorer in George Lucas has lay dormant as he’s done almost nothing creatively other than various incarnations of Star Wars and Indiana Jones. The once great chef has become a fast food chain operator. How can talent stay alive and breathing in an environment like that?

Yes yes… George has “produced” a number of other projects… even wrote one of my favorite 80’s fantasy films “Willow”. But essentially the career of George Lucas has become nothing but Star Wars and Indiana Jones for decades. No new territory. No new challenges. No new discoveries. No more creative frontiers. And as his creative muscles atrophied, we’ve seen the vision, the genius and the quality of his films slide downhill to the point the he is now, creatively, just a shell of the titan he once was.

Rebecca Winters wrote a great article in Time Magazine about this topic in an open letter to George Lucas. In it, she raised a great point about what Lucas NEEDS to do next:

Audiences ignored and critics shrugged at Youth Without Youth, the experimental movie your buddy Francis Coppola made last year. So what? Youth got Francis out of a 10-year dry spell and excited about making movies again. Now he’s at work on another. Make your own weird little film with no expectations. When it hits theaters, take a vacation, ignore the weekend grosses and start brainstorming your next movie.

She’s 100% correct, and deep down George Lucas knows it. 10 years ago Lucas was saying that after the third Star Wars prequel was finished, he would walk away from the Star Wars universe and get involved in making a bunch of much smaller independent films. That’s EXACTLY what he needed to do. That’s EXACTLY what he should have done. But what happened? Instead of breaking away from his old creations that have been creatively killing him, George started with various Star Wars TV and cartoon projects (don’t forget Star Wars Clone Wars hits theaters this summer) and even got back on the Indiana Jones wagon again. He had a chance to rediscover himself. He hadn’t directed a movie that wasn’t called “Star Wars” since 1973 and now with Star Wars done and a LOAD of new money in his bank accounts, it was the perfect time for him to start exploring his creativity again. But instead, he let the atrophy continue.

Make no mistake about this one fact: George Lucas is a sleeping creative giant who has almost no equal. But the mighty warrior king has become like King Theoden in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. He sits old and decrepit on his same old thrown. Stiff and weak, distant and still and almost oblivious to everything going on around him. But in the same way that Gandalf cast out the White wizard and breathed life back into him and Theoden took up his sword again… so too I believe that breaking away from the old Star Wars and Indiana Jones worlds and embracing new ground… rediscovering the love he lost for fresh and undiscovered storytelling… then we’ll see Lucas rise again… the same Lucas who changed the whole movie industry… the same Lucas who broke new ground many thought could never be done… the same George Lucas who helped shape our childhood imaginations like no one before him or since him have ever come close to doing.

Make no mistake, he is the King, but one who has lost his throne and forgotten his true self. A creative force who exchanged his creativity for commercial success for far too long, turned in his explorer spirit for the familiar and discarded his courage in exchange for comfort. These things kill an artist and so they have slowly killed George Lucas. But he’s not dead yet, and I truly believe that if he uses his remaining working years rediscovering his passion, his creativity, his explorer’s spirit and his courage… breaking away from the familiar and heading into unknown storytelling territory again… we will see the return of the king. For George and for us all… I hope he does.

Apparently Patrick Swayze May Have Something To Do With Point Break 2


Well, it looks like Swayze may be involved in Point Break 2 after all. News came out earlier this week that he would not be participating, and now we have a follow up piece that says he’s in?! We get the most recent update from our friends at the moviehole:

An insider for “Point Break: Indo” tells Life + Style magazine (via Contact Music), “The producers are trying to figure out a way - any way - to get Patrick in the movie.One day, two days, a week of shooting - whatever they can get Patrick for, they’ll make it work. He was so pivotal to the first movie.”

And Swayze, who announced in March he’s battling pancreatic cancer, will be part of the sequel whether he’s actually in the film or not.

I only want to see this film if Swayze has a substantial role in it. I don’ t want to see a brief cameo, nor will I be content to have him working behind the scenes as a consultant. If Swayze is in - he better be the star of the film or I fail to see the point.

News has been going back and forth about his involvement, and who knows, this news could end up being false as well. We will be sure to keep you abreast of all the Swayze updates. Including the one where the doctors proclaim that he has defeated cancer using his will and the healing power of ballet.

Get well Swayze, your work is not yet finished.

Elizabeth Berkeley Joins Donnie Darko 2

We have the unexpected news of the day. It appears Elizabeth Berkeley has been brought on board the Donnie Darko sequel! We get the scoop from our friends at the moviehole:

Elizabeth Berkeley, the “Saved by the Bell” actress who butt-rumped a thousand childhood’s with her performance in the racy “Showgirls” (1995), has emerged from the B-land (that the film put her in) to land a role in the “Donnie Darko” sequel.

It really sucks that Elizabeth Berkeley fell off of the radar after Showgirls. Who can blame her for wanting to shake the squeaky clean kids TV image? I just watched the pool scene online from showgirls, and she did good work. With luck she will find her way into bitchin’ B movies rather than lame ones, but for now she will have to settle for this much maligned Donnie Darko sequel.

Hellboy 2 Big Baby Poster

This may have been out for a while already, but I just got my hands on this now, so I’m sharing it with yall. Studio sent me this post I personally haven’t seen before for Hellboy 2, and I freaking love it. Love or hate Hellboy (I love him) you gotta admit the art department responsible for the various posters we’ve been seeing for this flick have done an AMAZING job. Posters don’t indicate ANYTHING good or bad about the movie… but that doesn’t mean they can’t just be appreciated for what they are… and I love this poster. “Big Baby”!!!! Yeah!

Hellboy-2-Big-Baby

Walled In Trailer

We have the trailer for Mischa Barton’s Walled In to show you today. Thanks to moviesonline for the hookup!

This is the type of horror movie that I usually hate most of all. Some people really love suspense/horror - I am not one of them.

This trailer also gives up a huge reveal when it shows us that the architect is still living within the walls of the house. I can understand wanting to show some good stuff in the trailer, but this is way too much.

International friends - what do you think?

Fight Night Poster

We have obtained the following poster and plot synopsis for the upcoming film Fight Night thanks to our good friends over at moviesonline:

Michael Dublin is a full-time con man working the underground boxing circuit. A lonely drifter on the run from a past best forgotten, he moves from one scam to another, leaving a trail of enemies in his wake. Dublin invents his best scam yet when he meets Katherine Paker, a female fighter with the skills to take down a man twice her size. In a scheme Dublin calls “fight-rigging, in reverse”, the two hit the road working fights in seedy basement bars, abandoned warehouses, and backwoods county fairs. But Dublin’s shady past catches up with them and suddenly the stakes are higher - and more dangerous - than they’d ever imagined.

This film reminds me of Diggstown, but with a female boxing hero. Boxing movies are good stuff, especially when they end up in illegal pit fighting situations. A bad ass and a quick talking huckster is a fantastic combination for a film like this, and I look forward to checking it out.

I have a soft spot for females that dispense violence in film.

Star Trek Composer Alexander Courage Passes On

We are sad to announce that composer Alexander Courage has passed on at the age of 88. We get the following scoop from our friends at trekmovie:

Alexander Courage, who wrote the original Star Trek title theme as well as the scores for numerous television shows and movies, died May 15 in Pacific Palisades, California at the age of 88. The Emmy winning and Oscar-nominated composer had over 90 film and television credits and at least one other TV theme (Judd for the Defense), but he was best known for the exotic, bongo-driven siren song he wrote for the original Star Trek TV series.

The Star Trek TV theme is an amazing piece of work. It is instantly recognizable and is among the greatest of themes. In high school, I had the privilege of seeing the Canadian military band perform the song live, and it was rad. At 88, Alex had a good run, but it’s always sad to see people exit this plane. Our condolences go out to his friends and family.

Zach and Miri Make a Porno Teaser Online

I feel really dirty saying a movie about a porno is going to tease you.

The infallable Kevin Smith (shuddap - he is a god) has released a teaser trailer for Zach and Miri Make a Porno. The very basis for this film is hillarious. Two debt buried friends decide to make a porno to make some quick money. Cuz that’s where the money is right? In the process they find out they are more than just best friends. For the record, THEY are not in the porno, they are producing.

Seth is the ultimate underachiever and damn funny guy, and Elizabeth Banks is terribly attractive and still cool enough to be funny alongside guys like Rogen. Typically in films, girls as pretty as Banks are the ones offended by his antics and usually in scenes slapping him in the face.

For those who worry about trailers giving too much away,
/Film quotes Smith who had the following to say:

“Don’t call it a trailer, ’cause it’s not a trailer; it’s a teaser,” warns Smith. “There ain’t a frame of footage in this puppy that’s in the actual flick, so feel free to watch it without fear of ‘spoilers’. This is just a little something to give you a bit of a feel for the flick.“

The neat thing about this movie is that some actual porn stars are going to be in it. Makes sense. I know you won’t recognize the names since you are all such upstanding citizens but Doug assures me these are certified porn stars.

The trailer involves some cussing and crudeness that really sets the pace for what we can expect. But did you expect anything less from Kevin Smith in a movie with Seth Rogen? Furthermore if these things offend you, are you sure you want to see a movie about two friends producing a pornographic movie??

“Just say when.” Damn brilliant!

Emily the Strange to be a Dark Horse Movie

The popular decal being used among skateborders to promote Rob Reger’s company Cosmic Debris, may spawn into a movie.

/Film says:

The character is a goth looking 13-year old girl who is usually accompanied by her four black cats: Sabbath - the troublemaker, Nee-Chee - the schemer, Miles - the creative, and Mystery, the leader of the group. The franchise has a considerable merchandising catalog, including clothing, stationery, stickers, and accessories, very popular with the Hot Topic crowd.

Like the article implies, this may well be the first movie to be made based on a sticker. There is no “personality” or story to this character of Emily aside from her cat’s advertised traits.

They don’t even know if this will be live action with CGI Cats, or if it will be all animated. Once they choose a director, it may dictate to his strengths. All they know is that they want to make a movie by Dark Horse Entertainment. Now to be fair, a series of novels aimed at young adults is being produced for release next year.
A feature film would boost those book sales, or vice versa if the books are suddenly a cult hit. But this seems like a bit of a stretch to base an entire multimedia venture based on a sticker. Mostly because the lack of a defined story for this image is likely not to match up to what the fans of the imagery say it means to them.

Maybe a girl puts this on her board because the character is gothy loner surrounded by odd cats, while some guy puts it on his board because it represents a hip outsider constantly admired by peers for her individuality. As soon as they quantify her person, they risk ruining the character for those who view her differently.

Can you think of any other properties that were spawned from a simple image?

Harvey Korman dies at age 81

Most noted for his role in the Carol Burnett show, comic Harvey Korman has died.

IMDB says:

Comedian Harvey Korman, a multiple-Emmy award winner best known for his work on “The Carol Burnett Show” and in comedies such as Blazing Saddles and The Pink Panther Strikes Again, died Thursday at the age of 81. According to a family statement issued by UCLA Medical Center, Korman reportedly suffered complications related to the rupture of an abdominal aortic aneurysm he experienced four months ago.

I was raised on the Carol Burnett show as my parents tuned in as often as they could. Tim Conway was my favourite from the show, but I certainly remember Harvey Korman.

You might remember him best as the typical western villian in the Mel Brooks Spoof Blazing Saddles, but to me he will always be “That guy from Carol Burnett” or the voice of The Great Kazoo (the little green space alien featured in some episodes of the Flintstones)

Rest in peace Mr Korman.

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior - Worst DVD Ever

This is some good stuff

Brainstorming Indy 4

Found this on LosersOfTheYear.Net Just had to share. Even though disappointed, I still had fun with Indy 4… but this cartoon is pretty spot on

Sex And The City Review

Thanks for checking out our Sex and the City review. There hasn’t been a more female gender pop cultural phenomena in my lifetime than the hit TV show “Sex and the City“. Just about every woman I’ve known the last few years own at least one season on DVD, and many of them own them all. Even women I’ve dated would talk to me at times in allegories from the show… which would always go totally over my head since I’ve never seen a single episode (then again, it’s not like I ever understood women anyway… no man has).

So off I tromp to see Sex and the City. I went with two women I know and the theater was pretty full. One of the girls turned to me about 5 minutes before the movies was supposed to start and said “I don’t see any men in here”. I looked around, and sure enough all I saw were a lot of ladies. So I yelled out “Are there any other men here!?!?!” Two men raised their hands… and yes… they were each with their wives.

A few minutes later to much fanfare and much anticipation, the movie began. Was Sex and the City any good? Would I, a MAN who has never seen a single episode be able to enjoy it? Surprisingly yes!

THE GENERAL IDEA

The synopsis for Sex and the City looks something like this: “Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), successful author and everyone’s favorite fashion icon-next-door, is back, her famously sardonic wit intact and sharper than ever, as she continues to narrate her own story about sex, love and the fashion-obsessed single woman in New York City.
Sex and the City finds Carrie, Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis) and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) four years after the hit HBO series ended, as our favorite femmes fashionables continue to juggle jobs, friendships and relationships while they start to navigate motherhood, marriage and Manhattan real estate… some of them may even — brace yourself — brave other boroughs outside Manhattan.”

Essentially, Carrie and Mr. Big (her long time love interest on the show) decide to get married. The film then races through various themes of love, commitment, individuality, forgiveness, friendship, loss, loneliness… and just about every other human condition you can think of.

THE GOOD

The film was funny. Pure and simple it did the one thing I didn’t really expect it to be able to do: It made me laugh. A lot. I know this will sound odd, but there were a number of times I caught myself picturing Judd Apatow writing the film. No seriously… I think if Apaow had written a Sex and the City the movie… this is the movie he probably would have come up with. The humor was more “male” than I expected it to be… and a little more crude at times… I loved it. 4-5 solid laugh out loud moments… with many many more giggles. On that level, quite entertaining.

In most movies, you have characters that make their way through the story. But Sex and the City didn’t really have a story. The characters WERE the story, and in this context it really worked because of the diversity in the 4 main characters and their legitimate charm and likeability (aside from the Miranda character)… but most importantly because of the long tested chemistry between them all. The chemistry of that on screen friendship was palpable and carried the movie.

Although sometimes a bit forced, I found the emotional and touching scenes worked. Each of the main characters go through significant challenges emotionally in the movie (which is a weakness… but I’ll get to that in a bit) and at times it is communicated quite well.

THE BAD

At just a hair under 2 hours and 20 minutes, Sex and the City is TOO LONG. The movie had a wonderful pace to it right up to about the 90 minute mark, and it felt like the movie was totally ready at that point to head into a 10-15 minute wrap up. It would have been perfect. But instead, the movie dragged on for over another half hour before heading into that wrap up. It was at that point that the movie felt stretched out and unnecessary. A part of the reason the film was too long was….

There was simply too much going on. For some reason the producers felt the need to give each and every one of the 4 main characters a significant story line sub-plot instead of one central story or without tying them together. 4 full stories takes screen time, each one interrupting the other and causing far to many themes to be brought into it. It’s not that any of the stories weren’t good, nor that any of the themes introduced weren’t worthy ones to be explored… but in food terms, if you’re making a soup, it doesn’t matter if you use 100 good ingredients, if you use all 100 the soup becomes a bit of a mess. You’re unable to appreciate the flavors of each one because it all becomes lost in the jumble of competing flavors. Sex and the City had too many ingredients going at the same time, and as such it hindered our ability to savor or appreciate any single one of them.

Some of the “life lessons” in the movie I found to be total nonsense. But really that isn’t important. The movie is about the characters and what they think… not about what I agree with. If their life lessons were consistent with the characters from the show, that’s what’s important I guess.

OVERALL

Surprisingly… nay… SHOCKINGLY I, a male who had never seen an episode of the show before, ended up enjoying the Sex and the City movie and found myself having been entertained by the end. Very funny, some great crude yet smart humor and charming characters with a great chemistry are all strong enough to overcome an unnecessarily over stuffed script with too many sub plots and themes and an extra 30-40 minutes of unneeded run time. Not a “great” movie when all is said and done, but certainly a movie worth watching. Overall I give Sex and the City a 6.5 out of 10

More Humans to return for Transformers 2

With all the buzz coming out about Transformers 2 the biggest concern so far is that all we keep hearing is that they are adding more and more humans to the movie. This has a lot of the fans really worried.

Well on top of all the humans being brought in, it looks like there is a good pile of original cast is on board now too.

/Film says:

The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed that a bunch of the original Transformers cast has signed on to return for the sequel. Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro will reprise their roles in Michael Bay’s Transformers 2.

First off, I am happy that Megan Fox is back. It also means part of the story won’t be dedicated to pursuing a new love interest for Sam. This is good news. Besides, any reason to lay eyes on her…. uh.. anyways…

But seriously, this film sounds like its getting flooded with humans and nothing on the Transformers. Guess why?

The giant fucking robots dont have agents! They are effects. The actors are reporting to the set and doing their part with nothing there but a tennisball on a stick! One story about including Soundwave and the speculation on how they are going to modernize a walkman that turns into a 50ft tall robot, and 10 stories about actors getting signed on, considered, ditched, and now returning.

I have faith that this movie will still be about the giant fucking robots, but I am also just hoping I am right about that too.

Starscream better have more than 2 lines, and Megatron will return rebuilt as Galvatron. Oh, and I’m hoping for HotRod. Just sayin.

And just for fun I thought I would repost this fan video. Aside from the really unnecessary addition of bad karaoke singing of “the Touch” during the montage (why didn’t they just use the actual song??) this video is solid gold!

Burn after Reading Redband Trailer Online

I’m really starting to warm up to Burn after Reading, especially after seeing this latest trailer. For those who don’t know what its about, /Film sums it up.

Focus Features has released a red band movie trailer for Burn After Reading. Written and directed by The Coen Brothers, this new dark-spy comedy stars Academy Award nominee John Malkovich as an ousted CIA official, whose memoir accidentally falls into the hands of two unwise gym employees (Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand) intent on exploiting their find.

The trailer is a scream. I just LOVE seeing Brad Pitt as the over enthusiastic loser personal trainer. After seeing him in so many roles where he is looking so cool and saying the right thing and kicking the right ass, it’s refreshing to see him as an average joe flailing about in waters too deep for him to handle.

It almost reminds me of seeing George Clooney in Brother Where art Thou where he has a similar humbling underachiever role. Speaking of which, George Clooney is in this too!

It just keeps getting better!

You can see the trailer at /Film or in HD at Apple’s site

Van Damme Focusing on being a Real Actor

No one does the splits like the Muscles from Brussels - Jean-Claude Van Damme. Catching up with him at Cannes (where his self targeted documentary JCVD was shown) he was quoted as being dead serious about his craft.

Cinematical says:

Jean-Claude Van Damme spoke to MTV while in Cannes, and he said: “I’m a brand name. I’m not just a guy. I think I’m ready to be decent. I’m hungry to make movies, but movies with deeper characters. I want respect. I want to believe in myself.”

The article continues to speculate that after 37 films he finally decided he wants to be serious about movies and is hungry to get back at it. I can kind of see how this many films could get made. Like VanDamme himself says, he isn’t a person, he is a brand name. If they wanted to put me in senseless film after film where I didn’t really have to try that hard… I’d do 37 of those in a row!

I heard he did a little cop movie in which people were saying he wasn’t terrible and some even went as far as to suggest that he showed some serious promise. Could we be entering a new era in which VanDamme is considered among serious actors? Who knows.

Im kinda rooting for the guy. I just have a good feeling about him.

Michael Bay Set To Produce Ouija Board?

OuijaThis is the bizarre news of the day folks! It appears that Michael Bay will be Producing a film about Hasbro’s necromantic Ouija Board! We get the scoop from our friends at the moviehole:

Michael Bay will bring Hasbro’s supernatural game “Ouija Board” to the big screen. The project is set up at Universal, where Hasbro has a six-year partnership set up.

Although the specific log line for the film is being kept under wraps, the film will be a supernatural adventure with the Ouija board playing an integral part of the story.

I can’t even begin to imagine what the hell will happen with this film. Will a scrawny goth teen begin to talk to the dead, only to awaken slumbering demons?! Will a gas tanker blow up outside the house as a sign from the nether world that the specters means business? At some point will the president be called into a meeting where he is briefed on the demon invasion, and their entry point?!

Who knows…. but I cannot wait to see how Bay wrangles explosions into this film. They will happen, and I’m hoping they will be demonic in origin. At some point I also want a renegade priest to punch the devil in the chops! International Friends - what do you think of this crazy news and how do you see a Michael Bay Ouija Board film playing out?

***Bay is producing this project, not directing as I announced earlier.***

Russell Brand Axes Booky Wook Biopic

Russell-BrUK Rocker Russell Brand has decided to halt progress on a film adaptation of his tell all autobiography My Booky Wook. We get the scoop from our friends at MTV:

American audiences may have just been introduced to Russell Brand thanks to a scene-stealing performance in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” but the British comic is quite well known in his native land. No, REALLY well known, after Brand wrote a “warts and all” autobiography, “My Booky Wook,” which chronicled his rise to fame and his subsequent drug addictions.

Brand would like to keep it that way (the part about Americans not knowing about his past, that is), telling MTV News that he’s decided not to move forward with a movie adaptation of “Booky Wook,” which was to be directed by “24 Hour Party People” helmer Michael Winterbottom. “I’m not going to make the Booky Wooky into a film anymore because then people in America will learn what my past is like. [Of course],people that can be bothered to read will know that I have a checkered past,” he laughed.

Brand goes on in the article to joke that he will be playing himself in films for the next 10 years anyway, (making a biopic overkill). His upcoming project Get Him to the Greek has him playing a rock star and he will no doubt continue to score these roles until filmmakers find other suitable parts for him. He suggests that after 10 years of playing himself - he will be pigeon holed into playing mailmen. I don’t know much about this overseas sensation - but from the interviews I have read, he’s fuckin’ hilarious.

This guy is who he is and fame seems to be thrust upon him; I like the cut of his jib.

I think it’s a shame that his biopic has been halted, I guess I will have to read his Booky Wook and find out why.

44 Inch Chest

Tn2 Ray Winstone 4We have discovered news today about a new gangster film starring Ray Winstone. The film is called 44 Inch Chest and we get the skinny from our friends at cinematical:

If you remember, last November I blogged about Ray Winstone’s upcoming films, one of which was 44 Inch Chest, which would have him acting alongside Ian McShane, John Hurt, and Tim Roth. According to Variety, even more have signed on for the British gangster film — namely, Tom Wilkinson, Stephen Dillane (who recently kicked butt as Thomas Jefferson in John Adams), Joanne Whalley, and Melvil Poupaud.

Written by Sexy Beast writers Louis Melles and David Scinto, and being directed by Melcolm Venville, the film stars Winstone as a gangster “who seeks revenge on his wife and young French lover.” I think it would be safe to say that Whalley (Willow) will play the wife, and Poupaud (Goodboy in Speed Racer) will play the lover, since, well, his name in the film is “Loverboy.”

I am going to guess that the wife and lover of Winstone’s character rat him out in order to cut a deal, and then he returns to throw vengeance upon them. A revenge film where a gangster kills 2 romantic companions sounds like it could have some promise! This is the antithesis to what we usually get. Most often than not, the love interests end up helping their criminal lover escape, or follow them into oblivion.

The title sets the stage right away for a film about an imposing man. I would have a 44 inch chest, if you cloned me, and glued the two of us together. I guess that’s why I’m blogging with my delicate secretary arms, and the people with barrel chests are busy committing crime. We all have our part to play.

I will be sure to hunt for further news about this project, and keep you up to speed on the progress.

New Battle Pic From Death Race 3000

We have a new picture to show you today from the upcoming Death Race remake thanks to our friends at moviesonline:

Deathrace-Empire

I am not really that enthused about this remake, but this picture has certainly caught my attention. The cars look fantastic…. and I would live in that flame throwing truck. I do enjoy post apocalyptic highway battles ala The Road Warrior - and if this film can capture half of that magic, I will be pleased.

International friends - what do you think of the above picture?

Netflix Predicts Peak Mail Order Business Within The Next 5 Years

Netflix[7]The strategists over at Netflix have proclaimed that they expect their mail order business to reach its zenith within the next decade. We get the following scoop from the business caves of Yahoo:

“We think the by-mail business is very strong but will probably peak in the next five years,” said Hastings at the Netflix Investor Day in San Francisco on Wednesday. A slide at the presentation showed the peak in five to 10 years. Hastings told investors that the company’s online investment in 2008 and 2009 is expected to be “fairly inefficient,” but noted the reason for higher spending was to cultivate better partnerships and content.

But Hastings and other company executives were bullish on the company’s long-term position given its successful expansion into the streaming DVD market. “Once we’re in streaming … we can attract well beyond 20 million subscribers worldwide,” he said.

Netflix knows they will peak and eventually start to lose business on the mail order front; so they have already begun to use their earnings in order to prepare for the future. This is smart business. Their ability to adapt and see change on the horizon should insure that this company remains for years to come. Streaming on demand services are only going to get more and more convenient, and the battle for this market will start to heat up in time.

I very seldom get excited when companies make announcements about their future plans…. I think Apple and Netflix are the only exceptions. I like the forward thinking of these corporations. They don’ t sit on their laurels and milk products till something better comes out from a competitor - they launch a product and then follow it up with a better one (before anyone expected it). This is how you do business in the information age my friends.

Brett Rantner To Direct Beverly Hills Cop 4?

You know, when the word first came out a long time ago that there was some movement in getting a Beverly Hills Cop 4 movie made, I treated the news like you would when your girlfriend tells you she’s “late”. Just ignore the news and hope that it all turns out ok. And for the most part the Beverly Hills Cop 4 whispers have died down… but it looks like ignoring the problem didn’t make it go away. The word now is that Beverly Hills Cop 4 is being fast tracked and they’ve even got a director in mind.

My friends over at IESB give us this:

The trades reported this evening that Eddie Murphy has signed on to return for a fourth installment of the action comedy as one of his most beloved characters Axel Foley. Director Brett Ratner (X-Men: The Last Stand, Rush Hour films) is in negotiations to take the helm on this one.

They’re saying this one could be in theaters in 2 years. I won’t lie to you folks… I HATE this idea.

The original BHC was great, the second one was good, the third one was ok. The quality and laughs died off more and more as the series continued, as did public interest as the box office showed:

BHC 1 - $234 million
BHC 2 - $153 million
BHC 3 - $42 million

Axl Foley was a fun character… but he was a gimmick, a schtick… and schticks get tired. Not to mention that Eddie Murphy seems to have lost his ability to be… you know… FUNNY about 10 years or so ago.

I’ve repeatedly said that I would LOVE to see Murphy get back to doing some gritty, edgy and raw humor that he once did so damn well. Beverly Hills Cop 4 is not the vehicle for that. The studio many THINK the success of other old franchises means fans will be lining up around the block to see a BHC 4 film… but I think they’ll see just who wrong they are. Horrible idea.

Rental News For Week Ending May 25

NtreasureWe have found the rental news from the week ending May 25th, in the fabled caves of Yahoo:

“National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” the biggest movie in Nicolas Cage’s career, debuted at No. 1 on both the Nielsen VideoScan sales chart and Home Media Magazine’s video rental chart for the week ending May 25. The sequel was also the top-selling Blu-ray Disc release of the week, while the original “National Treasure” was the week’s No. 2 Blu-ray seller. A two-pack of both films bowed at No. 3.

On the DVD sales chart, “Book of Secrets” was followed by the first three “Indiana Jones” movies, drafting off the theatrical release of the fourth installment, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

Franchise starter “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was the week’s No. 2 seller, followed at No. 3 by “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” and at No. 4 by “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” No. 5 on the top-sellers chart? The original “National Treasure.”

In rental stores, “Book of Secrets” took in an estimated $8.7 million, pushing last week’s top renter, “Mad Money,” to No. 2 with $6.1 million.

It’s nuts how the release of a sequel will amp up sales of previous films. Everyone is cramming to see all previous Indiana Jones outings so they are up to speed for the new installment. TV showings of the films are up as well. I saw Temple of Doom just last week on the tube, and enjoyed the volcano magic anew!

I really didn’t like National Treasure much at all. I never want to see it again and am surprised that so many people want to own this film. I can see people enjoying the film as a disposable popcorn piece, but I certainly don’t understand why someone would add it to their home library. Different strokes I guess.

James McAvoy To Play Bilbo Baggins?

James-Mcavoy-Bilbo-HobbitProbably the hottest “who will play X role” speculation out there right now is the question of who will play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit? As you all know, Ian Holm wore the fuzzy feet of the legendary in the Lord of the Rings movies, and some people insist that he should return to play the role again in “The Hobbit”. But as I’ve said repeatedly, that’s just a nonsense idea. The Hobbit calls for a younger Bilbo… not to mention Holm is now 6-8 years older than he was when they filmed the Lord of the Rings flicks. It’s not an option. We have heard that Del Toro may use Holm to narrate The Hobbit, which I think would be the perfect tie in. Anyway…

The word going around right now is that James McAvoy is first in line to play Bilbo. Contactmusic.com gives us this:

A source tells British newspaper the Daily Express, “A number of names have been doing the rounds, including Daniel Radcliffe and Jack Black, but James (MCAvoy) is the one the film’s bosses really want. “They’re expected to have talks soon so hopefully it could be confirmed in the not too distant future.” And director del Toro adds, “I can tell you it’s down to a few names that we all agree upon. For our first choice, completely magically we all have the same name.”

I can completely see this. McAvoy is a solid actor, and he’s no stranger to the fantasy genre having played Mr. Tumnus in the first Chronicles of Narnia film. His stature is perfect for the role as well.

But hold the phone…. there are/were considering JACK BLACK for the role?!?! Dear sweet cat shit, are they completely insane??? Damn I hope that report is totally off. I also couldn’t see Daniel Radcliffe as Bilbo either… a bit TOO young if you ask me, and Harry Potter boy really should break away from the fantasy genre for a while once he’s done with Potter if he doesn’t want to get pigeon holed for the rest of his career.

But seriously… JACK BLACK???

Tom Cruise Dot Com

Tomcruise-1Tommy Cruise has finally decided to open a web portal, in order to share his thoughts with the fans. We get the scoop from the clear caves of Yahoo:

The site is in many ways standard for a celebrity. Among the features are a “message from Tom,” a glowing biography and handsome photographs. The actor explains: “I created this site as a thank you, to you, for sharing the journey with me and to invite you to continue to explore what the future will bring.”

“My hope with this site is to bring you in and share with you the fun I experience every day during the filmmaking process, from working with the script, to the making of the film through to what we finally see when we settle in our seats and the lights go down,” writes Cruise.

I think this is great. Tom Cruise may be nutty as a jay bird, but he still has fans that love him, and it’s cool that he will be creating origonal web content for them to enjoy.

With all of the Tom Cruise jokes that have been flying around lately, the best thing he can do is address them himself on his personal website. I think that with every new zany Tom Cruise story, we may see damage control/rebuttals on his website. This site will be on my bookmarks list for certain. I’m not sure if any craziness will happen on the site, but I will be sure to check daily - just in case.

Be sure to wear your They Live glasses so you can see the secret messages.

Evil Dead: The Musical Spoof Posters

We have some spoof posters from Evil Dead: The Musical to show you today thanks to out good friends over at slashfilm:

Evildeadlesmiserables.Thumbnail

Evildeadmammamia

Evilhairspray.Thumbnail

I have not yet sen this musical, but I believe Mr. Bruxy Cavey has. I will see if I can get him to write a short post about the experience.

Tobey Maguire Is Spiderman - Rumors Dismissed

Spiderman LogoEarlier this week rumors were flying about that Tobey Maguire was going to be replaced by Patrick Fugit in Spiderman 4. We learn today that this news was false and that Toby is still in the running and will remain their first choice for Spiderman. We get the clarification from our friends at IESB:

According to our sources, that include reps from CAA, Endeavour, ICM, Marvel Studios and Sony, no actor including Fugit has been approached or even considered for the Peter Parker/Spider-Man role or any other character for that matter.

To take it a step further, head of Media Relations for Sony/Columbia Pictures Steve Elzer told the IESB today that the Fugit story is 100% false and added, “No one is being considered for the role but Tobey. Period.”

So there you have it folks, Toby will continue as Spiderman - so long as he wants the job. I am glad this rumor turned out to be false. I really like Maguire as Peter Parker and would like him to stay on till the series has run its course. Just to reiterate - Toby is their first choice, but also has not come forward and accepted the role. We very well could have news soon proclaiming another to fill his shoes. We will keep you posted.

Now we can go back to thinking about what villains we want to see in Spiderman 4. I would like Mysterio or the Lizard myself, with a possible guest appearance by the Vulture.

Batman VS IronMan 2

Well Ironman and Batman are at it again. This time discussing the success of Ironman’s movie.

Much like IronMan, stay after the credits for a special cameo appearance.

I’m Batman!

Weinsteins get their own Valykrie

As if Tom Cruise didn’t have enough to worry about considering his role in Valykrie has been getting less than raving results from the critics. Now the Weinsteins have dug up a German film based on the same story and intend to release it to the US market.

Cinematical Offers:

The Weinstein Company has picked up U.S. theatrical, DVD and television rights to the 2004 German film Operation Valykrie, a dramatization of the failed attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler during World War II. Sound familiar? That’s because Bryan Singer’s upcoming 2009 release, Valkyrie, tells precisely the same story, with Tom Cruise in the role of would-be assassin Col. Claus Von Stauffenberg.

Add to this double release of the same story, the star of the German Operation Valykrie is Sebastian Koch who also stars in Paul Verhoeven’s Black Book across from Carice van Houten, who of course is Tom Cruise’s co-star in Valykrie.

My head hurts.

Will this drama only serve to draw more attention to both films?

Do you think that the Weinsteins would have picked up the rights to this German film if it wasn’t for all the publicity Tom Cruise’s Valykrie was getting?

Oh the drama. This is like dating a buddy’s ex in highschool. Hey man! I was there first!!!

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay DVD Release - Change the Movie

With the release of Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantamamo Bay slated for July 29th, the dvd has something to offer that to my knowlege, no other dvd has offered before.

choose your own adventure.

/Film offers:

The DVD release of Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay will allow viewers to choose their own adventure. Not much has been revealed yet, but the official press materials lists a special feature called “Dude, Change the Movie!” which will allow “you to select from new and alternate scenes to change the course of the film.”

Waaaaay back there was a movie based on the board game of clue that had three different endings changing the film entirely, and the DVD release of course has all three endings in it. But this is something else.

Imagine just how much extra footage would have had to be filmed just to accomodate this. Well apparently it comes down to 27 extra scenes that were shot. You will be able to interup the movie and choose exactly how you wanted it played out, more than once! Its not like you get to say “he gets the girl” at the end. This is going to have pivital moments mapped out for you to choose.

This is innovative, and though I wasn’t lured to see this in theaters, it looks like a worthy purchase on DVD just to see if I can find added entertainment value.

Harrison Ford to return as Jack Ryan?

John wrote an article earlier today that talked about aging characters bringing their iconic roles back in sequels as older versions of themselves. Well he wasn’t the only one thinking it. Synapses are firing in the braintrust behind the Jack Ryan series of films to bring Harrison Ford back in series’ titular role.

MovieHole says:

Ford tells The Sun newspaper that Jack Ryan is a character that’s actually been allowed to age in the books, so it makes sense that his 65-year-old ass would still fit into the agent’s trousers.”That’s a character that I think you could revisit acknowledging the passage of time and his increasing age. It wasn’t age dependent; that character and his experiences were chockablock full of recipes for good engaging movies, so that’s a character I wouldn’t mind revisiting.”

Though the next film won’t be based – Paramount probably realized he wouldn’t be happy with whatever they did anyway – on any of Tom Clancy’s novels, the Ryan character ultimately became President of the United States in some of the later novels.

And this isn’t just Ford talkin here, Mace Neufeld, producer of the Ryan stories is eager to make this happen.

Interestingly enough if they do follow a parallel to the books, Jack Ryan does age, and eventually becomes president (stepping up from Vice President after a 747 lands in the White House killing the Commander and Chief) so an older Jack Ryan would be appropriate. This wouldn’t be the first time Harrison Ford played the President of the United States either.

Would it still have the following without being based on one of the books? Would that increase the following?

With Ford proving he can play an aged version of one of his own characters, it makes sense for them to jump back on the Harrison Express and get as much out of them while they still can.

Another Hancock TV Spot

I am really looking forward to Will Smith’s Hancock.

The film just looks like all the fun an attitude that we do like from Will Smith and yet a completely different take on the Superhero film we are used to. This one is not based on an established comic book.

But the latest TV Spot has come out and I know its supposed to give you the basis of the film in about 30 seconds, but if this was the only glimpse into this movie I wouldn’t want to see it. It looks cool, but there is nothing there to grab my attention. Fortunately that was grabbed in previous trailers.

However for those who don’t like the Will “Hell Naw” Smith tude, this TV spot makes him look good.

Take a look if ya wanna:

Disney Launches Kingdom Comics

Back when I was just a wee lad, my local barber shop often brought me fond memories of Disney Comic books. My barber looked like Elvis and even had one of those swirly red and white poles on the outside of the building. No, I am not THAT old. But while waiting our turn, I would often find myself flipping through the pages of some Uncle Scrooge or Donald Duck comic book.

Well they are bringing the comic books back. Sort of.

Cinematical says:

In the past, a series of Disney comics were published based on cartoon characters, but now Walt Disney Studios has formed Kingdom Comics with one of the goals being to “re-imagine and rejuvenate movies from the Disney ‘vault,’ the company’s library of live action films,”

Perhaps they are setting their own success stories in advance. They can publish a graphic novel and test the waters to see how the fans react to the re-imagining of Disney classic films like Old Yeller and Pollyanna. If the books sell well enough, they could option those more popular stories for remakes.

It makes sense and is sure a hell of a lot cheaper than creating a film just to see if people like it. Their direct to video line is HUGE, but there is more money to be made in the theater, however a greater risk to be taken as well.

If this acts as a crystal ball to see which of their properties would be best received as an updated feature film it could pay off big time.

Which forgotten Disney Classics could you tolerate an update of?

Brett Ratner on God of War?

No, this is not a shameless plug for John Campea’s Documentary Prince of Peace-God of War, and it also is not about Brett Ratner adapting it to a feature film. I am talking about the video game. In a recent interview it was suggested he is on board to make God of War, based on the very popular video game.

Cinematical says:

Ratner might be working on a big-screen version of the best-selling video game, God of War.

For those of you who haven’t played it (and I really recommend you do), here is a quick primer: God of War centers on Kratos, a celebrated soldier who is haunted by his past transgressions and his debt to the Gods of Olympus. It could have just been your typical hack and slash game, but the cinematic approach and highly entertaining story line earned it a reputation as one of the best around.

This is not the first time we have been teased with the idea of this game being brought to film. Back a few years ago Paramount was named to produce it and more recently its been said Djimon Hounsou might embody Kratos.

So while the Ratner haters might not like this, they will cheer in the streets when you consider the original director for this was Uwe Boll.

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