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» Review Summary

Fast And Furious Review

Short Version: This is a terrible movie in almost every single aspect. Horrible acting and a piss poor story... but man it's fun and has pretty high entertainment value thanks to the heart pounding action. Easily the best of the Fast and the Furious movies... but that's really not saying much now is it?

Release: April 3rd 2009

Genre: Action/Car Racing/Vin Diesel Sounding Dumb

Director: Justin Lin

Staring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Cars, More Cars

Score: 6/10

» Review

Fast And Furious Review

By John - April 6, 2009 - 00:38 America/Montreal

Thanks for checking out our Fast and Furious review.

I won’t beat around the bush here. I absolutely despise all the fast and the furious movies right from the first one. The first film was nothing but a blatant and criminal rip off of Point Break. The plot and each successive story point were all directly stolen from the much superior movie and offered no apologies for it. Each one just got worse and worse from there.

When Vin Diesel showed his face at the end of Tokyo Drift (the third installment of the franchise) we all knew that a 4th Fast and Furious film was going to be on it’s way. That, and the fact that everything else Vin Diesel has tried to do over the last 5 years has bombed on a Pauley Shore scale and he had to return to his popular roles to regain significance).

So I forced myself to go and see fast and Furious so I could give my thoughts on it here. Ummmm… crap… I hate myself a little bit for saying this… but… wow… I actually kinda enjoyed it. Let the apocalypse begin.

THE GENERAL IDEA

The synopsis or Fast and Furious reads something like this: “Heading back to the streets where it all began, two men rejoin two women to blast muscle, tuner and exotic cars across Los Angeles and floor through the Mexican desert. When a crime brings them back to L.A., fugitive ex-con Dom Toretto reignites his feud with agent Brian O’Connor. But as they are forced to confront a shared enemy, Dom and Brian must give in to an uncertain new trust if they hope to outmaneuver him. And from convoy heists to precision tunnel crawls across international lines, two men will find the best way to get revenge: push the limits of what’s possible behind the wheel.”

THE GOOD

Look, this whole review is going to be pretty short because the strengths and weakness are fairly simple and straight forward… like the movie itself.

THE ACTION IS AMAZING. This film, far more than any others in the franchise, has some truly awesome and exciting action sequences (all revolving around car chases and races for the most part). This film knows what people are here to see… and they just deliver it in spades. The movie just go go go go gos from the start right to the finish and I’m not ashamed to admit that it kept me entertained pretty much the whole way through. People seeing any Vin “I have the emotional range of a turnip” Diesel movie is not there expecting Shakespeare.

The party and “lifestyle” scenes were all well orchestrated giving a large feel to the film and lots of hot booty to look at (I swear there is as much camera time spent on various women’s asses as there is meaningful dialog).

THE BAD

Absolutely everything else. Let’s start with Diesel… even though he is HUGE in this movie (not kidding… I’ve never seen him look bigger or more physically intimidating), the guy is a total tool when it comes to acting. Every time he speaks a line in the movie I would wish some stranger would kick me in the balls… because it would hurt less. Paul Walker was only marginally less miserable… as were all the bad guys, supporting characters… it was just dreadful.

Ha… don’t even get me started on the story.

OVERALL

In every way, shape and form Fast and Furious is a poor movie… EXCEPT in the area of heart pounding action. Fortunately for the movie… that’s the most important ingredient for a film like this, and it delivered it in spades… enough so that despite the fact that it is so bad in so many ways… I actually have to say I enjoyed watching it overall and that it entertained me. NEVER thought I’d ever say that about a Fast and Furious movie… EVER. Overall I give Fast and Furious a 6 out of 10.

» 37 Comments

  1. Kristina says:

    The first one was the shit in high school. It’s a guilty pleasure that I feel no guilt over enjoying. This one was just ok.

  2. Mladen says:

    I want to hate these films so much, but once i sit down to watch them they’re actually pretty watchable. I even found myself enjoying Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift, even though its just a ripoff of Initial D.

    cheers for the review, If I’m feeling up for some car-related action I’ll give this a look.

    Didn’t this have a huge opening week and set records? Not sure of the numbers exactly, but at least $70 million…

    • methos says:

      biggest opening of the year so far, and set the record for April debuts.

      $72.5 million opening weekend is decent lol

  3. Wilco says:

    I think your reveiw hit the nail on the head. These films are all about explosions and voluptuous bootys. If it had a good story line then i don’t think i would like them as much.

  4. R1ZE says:

    Good action is all I need, I’m pretty sure this will be an 8/10 film for me at minimum.

  5. shadess says:

    I kinda liked the first one and tokyo drift, 2nd was really, really bad.

    I’m usually pretty much on the same lines as you are John but this time I think you are emphasizing “the bad parts” a little too much. These movies are about fast cars, the lifestyle and as you said, ass. They don’t pretend to be about anything else and since they absolutely deliver what they advertise in an entertaining way…for me at least that is plenty enough to say it is a good movie.

  6. HDpunk says:

    why did they use a CG tunnel? lazy movie makers who just resort to CG just anger me

  7. HAZMAT says:

    I hate racing movies.

  8. SX0T says:

    Real surprised you gave this a higher score than Adventureland. To each his own I suppose.

  9. Calviin says:

    I agree with the review except I think there was more time spent on “women’s asses” than meaningful dialog.

  10. 3R!C says:

    I liken it to be like going to the dentist for a check-up. You go and realize that you don’t have anything wrong with your teeth, but you still have to go through the pain in the ass cleaning they do to your teeth.

  11. Matt S says:

    You’re 100% spot on with the “Point Break” comment, John. That was exactly the first thing I said to my friends when I walked out of the original film…….Back then, I was a 12-year-old with limited and piss poor film analysis skills, and even I caught what they were doing. Shameless…. “Point Break” and Katheryn Bigelow rock pretty hard, by the way.

  12. Matt K says:

    damn jordana brewster is hot!!!

  13. AARON says:

    I’m shocked, 6 out of 10, 72 opening weekend is 32 M more than I thought it would get, I’ll see it. to me it looks great

  14. Schulzy says:

    I have a thing for racing movies. I thought Speed Racer and Death Race were freaking awesome. Car chases get me hot.

    That said, I haven’t seen any of the other F&F movies. I decided to see this one to kill a couple of hours yesterday afternoon, and really liked it.

    I should clarify that I went in with the correct mindset: I expected bad acting and poorly developed characters interacting within a plot that only serves to explain why all this high octane carnage is taking place.

    Yeah, I really liked it.

  15. Stooge says:

    I was waiting until you posted your review before adding my two cents.

    I feel that this movie would have been a much better part 2 than “2 Fast 2 Furious”. Especially given the ending of the movie. Sung Kang - Han from Tokyo drift had a decent part leading into the third film. The second film in my opinion never made sense. Thus Brian O’Conner would have had a much better reason to be hiding/on the run.

  16. jr says:

    Fast and Furious was a tight as movie all though when Han popped up i was confused becuz it didnt say couple years later like other movies it just went to da sequence of were they left of but it was still pretty good

  17. bigsampson says:

    haha funny how u give a movie that does everything its supposed to a 6 and then u totally beat on diesal….as with other articles i have read that u wrote…u dont like vin deaSal and it shows…for a movie that u say “EXCEPT in the area of heart pounding action. Fortunately for the movie… that’s the most important ingredient for a film like this”

    i would say a 8 if it has heart pounding action

  18. dom says:

    i know all the furious movies suck, but yet i still love them. guiltiest pleasure movie series ever! the shitty acting is kind of endearing though. to hear paul walker say “cuz” ad “bro” is worth the price of admission alone.

  19. rocket says:

    fast & furious 6/10….Adventureland 4/10?

    wow. I’ve been a TMB guy for years and I always find myself agreeing with about 95% of what you say…but this…this just makes me wonder if it might be time for me to move on.

    • John says:

      Hey Rocket,

      If you’re the type of guy who can’t handle someone having a different opinion than yours on movies… then I fully encourage you to move on.

      I hate the F&F movies… but I have to be honest and admit it had entertainment value.

      Adventureland didn’t

      If you have a different opinion than mine, more power to ya, that’s great. But if you can’t handle that… good bye.

    • rocket says:

      It’s not that I can’t stand a different opinion. It was just the spectrum of things. When you gave fast & furious a higher score than adventureland…to me it was like saying Doom was better than juno. I know you don’t consider yourself a critic…but i look to your reviews for yay or nay and like i said…95% of the time it’s dead on. If you were on rottentomatoes you’d be my preferred critic. if someone said Doom was better then Juno would you take them seriously? Anyways I would never leave TMB, that statement was more of a hyperbole.

    • John says:

      Hey Rocket,

      Yes… i would still take them seriously… because about 1000 new movies come out each year, and I don’t expect to agree with anyone every time.

      All film is subjective. I know some people hated Juno (I personally loved it) and I know some people loved Doom (can’t imagine why for the life of me), but that’s the way it is. Hell… I like Armageddon and most people hate it. Well all have those movies that everyone hate but we love, or that everyone loves and we hate. That’s movies.

    • rocket says:

      You’re a better man than me. I hear anybody say Doom was better than Juno they’re getting a foot to the throat.

  20. Heather says:

    I have to say I felt very similar. I found the first to be mediocre, but an understanding guilty pleasure for a rainy bored day. The second and the third were unforgivable.

    Even though a lot of aspects of Fast and Furious were terrible, it was overall so entertaining that you couldn’t help but like it.

    I don’t have a problem with Vin Diesal reprising the role and getting that action guy buzz again. He has the potential but unfortunately squandered it in the past few years. This and Babylon A.D. may have reopened some doors in his career.

  21. Batman says:

    I know that Vin Diesel has gotten a pretty bad rap for most of his movies, and I realize that he may not be in line to win any Oscars anytime soon…but I just like the guy. For the most part it seems like he doesn’t try to step outside his boundaries by going for parts that don’t fit him. He sticks to what he does best : muscle-bound tough guys in big action movies. Maybe a lot of people disagree, but I like what he does, and have enjoyed most of his movies. I always look forward to seeing his stuff. Mainly because I know what to expect. I just like the guy.

  22. Dom says:

    I dont think the critics know what they are talking about. cuz it seems every movie they bomb on ends up being good. I certainly dont take there word or anyone else’s word for a movie, I will see a movie I want to see whether it is good or not.

  23. bjon86 says:

    Tokyo Drift was still the best

  24. Viorel says:

    I love this movie.I saw this movie at the cinema and i think is great.I love cars.

  25. DisgustedFan says:

    Well, actually. Any fan critic with some small understanding that there has been an over abundance of American cinema trash hitting the screen for the last 5 years will tell you. This was no surprise. The trailers were over bent and cheesy enough to give you clues about what is going to be said next.

    Vin Diesel - Used to be one of my most favorite actors, why not anymore? Well, aside from Riddick and A Man Apart. Diesel’s depth has been mostly on the degenerative level and rapidly on the decrease. Rising to the decline much faster and more furious than before and with what we just saw in this movie, why shouldn’t it? He never identifies with the characters in any of his films, atleast not lately. And has been taking just about anything he can get his hands on. But, his performance in this i was expecting to bite, bigtime. Well, it did, and i was expectingly disappointed, but more so bored to heck. I had no idea that his style would come off as totally dry like this. So much for Keanu Reeves in Point Break. Threwout the whole entire time Diesel shows maybe a pulse, Walker shows the other one. There was no action, no drama, no focus, nor range coming from this man and his characteristics. I saw no “toughguy Torreto” on his part. I literally saw him and Walker standing next to each other as if they were saying to each other (”My muscles are much bigger than yours is, gee i wonder which fan will notice mine first”.)
    Now, let’s forget about the cars, the races and the action for a second. (Which, i’m getting to very soon)
    Where’s Dom and his so called anger brulling, firebanging, rebellious character out for revenge? Well, i guess they’re saving that for the dvd release. Because, there was none of it seen, nor given anywhere on his part in any of this film. Who knew that the fans were alot tougher than Diesel? You’d have to be to bare threw a painful hour and a half watching him act just like a wooden Keanu Reeves, which is. A second whole lot longer than i’d like to picture it.

    Paul Walker - I agree about Walker, well. What can i say. The guy’s just a marketing tool. He just stands next to Vin Diesel, does a smile, or two, looks pumped and “tries to save the day”. Well, the only thing that Walker saves is the GasStation more money and you least gas. Cause, that’s what you’ll get when you find your tank has ran out on empty and your wallet full of loopholes. Loopholes, just like in the movie once you left the theathre in a hot hurry in your own car after watching this hot garage. Walker gives the same range as he gives in all of his films, exactly this. “An agent firing blanks.” Wow, i said too much about Walker than i needed too. I want my money back, now please.

    Rodriguez - Well, unsurprisingly, she’s not a bad actress at all. She just can’t enhance her roles all too well. But, either put up the skills, or shutup lady. Sadly, it gets pretty obvious that the tough girl attitude gets seriously toned down by Justin Lin in this latest “hotpick”. WOW, Abandoning a style that made her who she is today. Well, tough. This time she isn’t tough and was just as wooden as the rest of the cast. No toughgirl, no likeable chick, not even a tag along, no nothing to do with the film at all. It’s like she didn’t care. But, somehow she still remains the main focus of the entire film?! Yeah, ok. Next.

    Brewster - Don’t get your hopes up on this one, you’ll be surprised at just how “brewsed” and upset she can actually appear to be. I don’t want to spoil it, but literally. That’s as deep as it goes with her in this film. Just Brewster and not bruised at all.

    I have to say, this offers the ABSOLUTE worst villian in any Fast and the Furious film ever made, ever. WOW again, what the hell were they thinking? It’s so basic that i could spoil it mentioning even the most smallest flaws without detail. About the sex appeal and the women. Well, you’ll like it. If you like women floating around in cheesy semi-sexy clothing looking almost like zombies trying to ass dance all over the place. Literally, they LOOKED like zombies. And as for it “being about cars”. There was nothing of the sort. The only time you saw the car appeal about street racing was only once and even then. It was so vassely overblown with impossible, but seriously unexplainable results that even a child couldn’t possibly be fooled by this. (I’m talking Transporter 2 car stunt results, YEA.) Maybe not a kids flick either? Need i mention the action and cheesy explosions?Now for the ending. All i have to say is, leave early, or else you’ll be very pissed that you didn’t catch the usher at the closing gates to refund your money before the film goes off. Because, well the end is “not necessary” and with the way they did it you won’t be missing anything special.

    (Notice my exempt lack of detail)

    So much for a “hightened cinema” action flick. So, here goes it. Action, acting, special effects, racing, sex appeal and overall story plot, apples to oranges and oldguys with huge frowns and more smiles. It says it all and sums it up. “Not so Fast you’re being Cheated.” This was a cheesy kids flick at the most. (18-21 crowd just about sums it) All in all, a big waste of time. Not only on Fast and Furious cast’s part, but. Also, on the fans.Why did the fans waste 7 years waiting for the original cast to enhance the film to revival? I have no idea, but all i can say is if the acting isn’t what disgusts you (which it should), then the action and cheesy special effects will definately have you making jokes about it just to pass the time away until the entire movie ends. But, again if you do stay until the end, don’t get upset all to soon. I warned you. Like i said, don’t expect to get any of your money back!

    In closing, going threw cheesy proportions, having you just really wanting your money back. There are very few words to describe to attitude towards the director. But, i can think of afew. Literally, Justin Lin. I want my money back, and please how soon?

    This is the worst Fast and the Furious movie in the entire series, ever. And yes, the only job it does is this. Having you literally eager to see it, thou cautious from viewing the previews. Once seen, with unshocking results. “Fast to Leave and Furious” to get your money Back. This was just another scam, bigtime.

    Here’s how i rate it, 4/10. This is definately one for the Razzies with unsurprising results fit for a trash container.

  26. denjil says:

    lol a@ john’s response to rocket….it seems that you are weird therefore john lol

  27. sammi says:

    wow… whoever thinks this movie is crap along with the other installments, you just dont know how to enjoy great entertainment and have too much time on your hands to pinpoint certain details you didn’t like from the movie- get a life and enjoy things honestly— this movie was the bomb!! a man getting revenge on a man who killed his sweetheart and rekindling a friendship is a good storyline

  28. anonymous says:

    All in all this movie is in intended to be high octaine action that dilvers with the goods. So sure this movie won’t win any acadamy awards nor any oscor nominies but it’s not intended for that. So all in all it delivered when the movie industry was in need of such an “high octain” action movie that should jump start the movie industry going in to the
    summer blockbuster.

  29. Well says:

    Well, it’s like this. Aside from the personal comments which i knew were coming. Still. 4/10
    Razzies, anyone? I think so!

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