The 8 Things I’m Sick Of Seeing In Movies

Cliches… Formulas… whatever terminology you like to call them by, there are certain repeated patterns in films that we’ve all seen a thousands times. Some of those Formulas are fine. For example, the mom who loves her kids… that’s not a stretch and we expect it in normal life, so we expect no less in a movie. However, there are other formulas in films that would have you and I believe they are the norm in real life… when they really aren’t. These can be fine too and not irritate us… but then there are these cliches that I really get sick off and wish more films would avoid.

So now I present to you, in no particular order, the 8 things I’m sick of seeing in movies:

1 - The current boyfriend/husband of the main character’s would be love interest is a total jerk

THE CLICHE: You know what I’m talking about. The “hero” of the film loves a girl, but the girl has a boyfriend. Already you know there is a 97% chance that this boyfriend will end up being a total dick. He yells at her, demeans her, doesn’t respect her. You can’t imagine why on earth she’s with him in the first place… but whatever the reason it doesn’t matter, because you know she’s going to end up with the hero in the end anyway when she finally sees the jerk in question for what he is, and leaves him for the hero.

THE REALITY: Yeah, that girl you dig… well her boyfriend 9 times out of 10 is better looking, funnier, smarter, richer and all round a better person that you… loser.

2 - If a fight breaks out in a bar/restaurnt, EVERYONE will jump in

THE CLICHE: Almost without exception, if two people start fighting in a bar or restaurant in a movie, everyone else will join in. Hell, they’ll start swinging at each other for no good reason other than the fact that a couple of other guys seem to be doing. Chalk it up to bar peer pressure I guess.

THE REALITY: I’ve seen my fair share of fights break out at clubs/bars. Not once have I ever seen it get beyond a couple of people before the bouncers end up kicking their drunk asses than throwing them the hell out

3 - No spunk after the hump

THE CLICHE: Ok, I don’t mean to sound vulgar or anything (I usually leave that to Doug) but we’ve all seen this a hundred times in movies and we all collectively say under our breath “yeah right”. A couple at some sort of public function or fancy dinner quickly ducks behind a wall, or into another room for a quicky. They go at it practically fully clothed and when they’re “done” they just take a couple of deep breaths, run their fingers through their hair and then return to join the other guests as if nothing happened.

THE REALITY: Sex makes a mess… I’ll just leave it at that.

4 - Terrorists are always considerate enough to have large built in digital count down clocks in their explosives so the hero can know exactly how much time he/she has left

NO FUTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED

5 - Shot in the shoulder? No problem!

THE CLICHE: Usually in action flicks, the hero will take a bullet. But fortunately it didn’t hit his face, or his heart. Usually it’s the shoulder or leg or something like that. When this happens, the hero grimaces for a few moments, then the goes on fighting.

THE REALITY: Guess what. When you’re shot in the leg, you don’t walk anymore. You don’t walk with a limp, or just slowed down… you don’t walk PERIOD. Got shot in the shoulder? Yeah, you can’t throw punches anymore. Every time you even think about breathing you scream like a little girl.

6 - Everyone everywhere knows Morse Code

7 - I know you’re about to say something important, but let me interrupt you with unrelated information that will unwittingly douse what you were about to say

THE CLICHE: Son is out to dinner with his parents and has built up the courage to tell them that he’s gay. He says “Mom, Dad… I want you to know I love you, and that’s why I’ve decided to tell you this very important thing about myself and my life…” The dad suddenly cuts in “Before you go on Nick, have I told you how much I hate fags recently?” Son then changes topics and pretends like the news he was about to give was about a car or something else. This is also done with girl trying to tell boyfriend she’s pregnant. Boy trying to tell girl pal he loves her. The combinations are endless.

THE REALITY: The human race are a bunch of inconsiderate animals… but generally I’ve always found when I say “I’ve got something important to say” and then start telling them what it is… no one has ever suddenly cut me off to mention something totally unrelated.

8 - Delayed information equals certain death

THE CLICHE: Two people are talking in a perfectly good spot when person “A” says to person “B”: “I’ve got to tell you something that will alter the destiny of the human race”. Person “B” is obviously intrigued and asks what this information is. Then, for NO GOOD REASON person “A” says something like: “Not here… meet me later at this other place”. Sure enough, you know that person “A” will be killed before he can ever tell his secret.

THE REALITY: Someone says they know something important… then I’m getting them to tell me right then and there.

You may ask “John, why just 8 instead of 10”? Cause I’m breaking the cliche baby. :P

What are some of the ones that you’re sick and tired of seeing?

About John Campea

who has written 0 posts on The Movie Blog

  • http://marjoriequintalgallego.blog.com/ marj

    funny!but it does make sense..and add there The Predictable Plot and Scene..the movie is just starting you almost know what will happen next..and the not so scary or thrilling horror film but when you see it on trailers you would thought it’s a hair-raising film..

  • http://northierthanthou.com/ danielwalldammit

    Lol, the digital countdown clocks have got to be one of the most artificial means of pumping the drama that you could possibly come up with.

  • http://www.sharinglanguage.com/ Jose_M

    haha, they are very funny.
    I like the first one, although i don’t fully agree with it. In the reality the boyfriend of the girl you love/like is always less smart and cool than you. For sure!! xd. We need to believe so! (probably as unreal as movies).
    There is something else I really dislike. The heroe or heroes always show some kind of weakness at the beginning and they always, always find the courage at certain point (when it comes to the crunch or mainly due to Love) to show how brave and heroe like they really are. And this moment is generally predictable as well.

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  • Ben Gessel

    1.) Kid has a “major” spat with his parents/a parent, and storms off, getting the last word in (Disney style), while the parent looks on, speechless. Isn’t working out problems with your folks more about communication that putting up walls with your folks in real life? And what about respect for your parents??? Is that too much to ask?

    2.) Troubled kid with divorced parents. Or just fine kid with divorced parents. Divorced parents DOMINATE the cinema. Geesh, is it, like not cool to be married and have kids anymore, Hollywood? And how did you end up establishing what was “cool” for America in the first place???

    3.) (More of an 80’s thing). Nerdy, reclusive teenage kid/son, etc., who has loving but quite aloof parents (dad is watching tv or reading the paper, mom is silently nervous and anxious about bringing up uncomfortable subjects at the table (including bullying), like most anything a teenage boy would REALLY like to talk about with his folks, but only when his parents aren’t so “on edge” about what he is saying, because he is “on edge” enough as it is), who ask him how his day at school was, you know the USUAL (but they don’t REALLY listen to what he is saying), meanwhile, little do they know, he’s being bullied at school, the girl he loves ignores him, he’s constantly doodling in class when he should be paying attention (because junior high and high school completely suck), and he feels like a complete loser. How many times have we seen a movie like this? But boy, do we love it so!

    4.) Psycho girl meets nice guy. Nice guy tries to pursue psycho girl. Psycho girl completely messes with the guy’s head and heart. Psycho guy meets nice girl. Same situation. Do fictional movie romances have to be THIS PAINFUL TO WATCH??? Because, god forbid, this happens in real life. Then of course, nice guy meets nice girl. To have that last part, or not to have that last part. Either way, its all been done thousands of times before. Wish I could say there were less psychos in movies, but film directors seem to have a thing for psychos. And we keep forking over the bucks to see people be inhuman to each other… Now THAT is entertainment. Yeah… Ugh.

    5.) Kid keeps calling his/her parents by their first names. Why???

    6.) Troubled teenage girl has a NICE, very tasty dinner in front of her. After the slightest hint of a sensitive subject being brought up at the table, she excuses herself, saying she is “Not Hungry”. Do teenage girls onscreen EVEN EAT??? WHEN??? Do they have a mini fridge full of Haagen Daas and lasagna with a microwave nearby or something??? Oh, and you can’t forget bottled water. At school. Every friggin’ day.

    7.) Cheerleaders are mean. Who says they have to be mean? Well, a lot of us hated High School, right? We hated how the cheerleaders were beautiful but not our type, or they were whorish, etc., right? Yes, Hollywood, FEED the geeks of the world with anger toward cheerleaders, jocks, and rich, muscular preppies alike. Make the cheerleaders onscreen so much MEANER than they were in real life, because that is just the thing to soothe our youthful emotional aches and wounds of years past, regarding the opposite sex. Maybe then, some forgotten, mistreated soul at a high school reunion just might go overboard and do what he never thought he’d ever, ever do. And I don’t mean sex. Or rape…

    8.) It’s all about the Benjamins, right? Money money money moooooooney!!! Mooo-ney!! From designer clothes to Armani suits and silk ties, from ferraris to ferocious muscle cars, from tropical mansions to private clubs and estates, Hollywood LOOOVES to make movies in style. And then middle class America (and much of us poorer folk) are left with a glitzy movie, and the desire to covet everything we see in these movies. I’m sure credit card companies LOOOVE these kinds of movies… Hey, its not like they have anything to lose… :D

    9.) Lust. Can I please have my own life, with my own, private thoughts about women, instead of movies injecting sex into everything these days? Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some people lived life like they WERE a puppet of Hollywood, Hollywood ethnics, morals, and lifestyle, esp. the wild sex parties and orgies, etc. Its a load of filth and vomit, thess Hollywood sleezy, smutty movies that come out like one out of three or four times for every movie made. Well, at least it makes it easier to decide what movie to see on a weekend…

    10.) Last but not least, a movie that lacks PATHOS. Pathos, or genuine, heartfelt feeling, is why we see a movie in the FIRST PLACE. Most of us don’t want to see a movie about liars, thieves, adulterers, murderers, etc. We want to see a movie about honest, hard working, faithful people, who have a genuine love for others, and make the movie much more of a special, sacred experience than it otherwise would be. We want to see good people in tough circumstances. We want to see how far they can be pushed, and if they will ever sacrifice their morals. We want to see if we can be better people ourselves, because we are asking ourselves if we really CAN be better in our own lives, after the movie is over and done with. The best movies HAVE GOOD PEOPLE IN THEM. If everyone was a complete scoundrel in a movie, I can guarantee you, you’d end up feeling kind of hollow afterward.